DNF - A Formula 1 Story (Lando Norris)

Chapter 3

"How the hell did I end up losing you?" - Dean Lewis

Lando

If you were to ask me why I did what I did, I couldn't tell you. I met Sophie last August in Ibiza during the summer break and we started up a strictly sexual relationship. If we were in the same place at the same time, we met up, had sex and went our separate ways. It was mutually beneficial for the both of us because we were both busy. I was travelling for races and she was often in France and Italy for her modeling work. I had no desire for a girlfriend and she knew that.

When I met Bianca though, that changed. I had heard a lot about her from Lydia and briefly talked to her a few times before we officially met in October. The instant I saw her I was overwhelmed by her beauty. But she was so much more than beautiful. Our personalities fed off each other and I had never connected with someone or felt the way I did when I was with her. Not to mention the sexual attraction we had for each other was insane.

The first day we hung out, we didn't leave each others sides and eventually we hooked up after everyone went to bed. From then on we were inseparable while in Austin. Even after that we were constantly texting or facetiming. I was quickly falling for her and even invited her to the Vegas GP and spent a couple of weeks with her in San Diego after the season ended. But in between the times seeing her, I was still meeting up with Sophie.

I'm still trying to figure out why I did that. Bianca and I never labeled what we were but I knew that she wasn't seeing anyone else. So I don't know why I thought it was okay for me to continue seeing Sophie. I don't know why I even wanted to see her, especially after experiencing sex and what a good relationship could be like with Bianca. There is no comparing how I feel about the two. I finally realized I needed to end things with Sophie when I realized I was in love with Bianca. Of course that was when shit hit the fan and Bianca found out about it.

I regret my decision in keeping things going with Sophie. I'll hate myself forever for doing that to Bianca. In the end I realize it was because I was feeding my ego. I liked the idea of being able to have two women. Stupidly, I thought Bianca wouldn't find out about it. My heart broke seeing how upset she was and I don't blame her. She confessed that she had already fallen for me on New Years. I know she thinks I didn't hear her, but I did. That moment was one of the best in my life.

The girl I was in love with had fallen for me. My plan was to meet up with Sophie the following day to end things with her, but of course fate had other plans. I hate that Bianca didn't give me a chance to explain anything though. Not that it would have made it any better, because I didn't have a good excuse. I was hoping that once I explained I didn't think it was cheating because we never talked about being exclusive and that I was ending things with Sophie because I was in love with her that she would slowly forgive me. But that would have been a bullshit excuse because I knew that she assumed we were exclusive.

I'm still trying to contact her though, and it doesn't seem like she's blocked me but I have no idea if she's read any of my texts or listened to any of the voicemails I've left her. I wouldn't be surprised if she's just deleting them as they come in. Lydia keeps texting me asking questions that I can't answer. Like what actually happened between us because she knows it wasn't just an argument like Bianca told Morgan to tell everyone. She's protecting me even though I just broke her heart and if that doesn't just make me feel like even more shit I don't know what else would.

I'm laying in my bed in Monaco staring at the ceiling with my phone resting on my chest, hoping that Bianca will just text me back, reactivate her social media, anything at this point so I can just talk to her. My phone starts vibrating on the chest and I sit up in a flash thinking that it might just be Bianca. When I look at the screen though its Lydia calling me.