DNF - A Formula 1 Story (Lando Norris)

Chapter 7

"Help me hold onto you." - Taylor Swift

Bianca

A couple of days after James and I got back to London, he left for a few weeks to a rehab center. He has a pretty bad concussion and has to do PT until he's cleared to race again. He's pissed that he has to do it but even more pissed that the crash happened in the first place.

Watching that accident made me realize that I'm not sure dating someone who is into racing motorcycles or cars is something I truly want. I've never dealt with more anxiety and stress than when I watched Lando race in Vegas and James race at Le Mans. I'm thankful that James is okay, but it scared me watching him laying on the gravel not moving. It's horrible to say, but in that moment I wanted reassurance and support from Lando since he is more used to that sort of thing and I know he would keep me calm.

I've tried so hard to stop thinking about him, but it's impossible. My heart wants him even if my head doesn't quite agree. This weekend is the Imola Grand Prix and I couldn't stay away from watching it. Lando is currently winning with only 5 laps to go and to say I'm excited would be an understatement. I've been screaming at my television all afternoon whenever the slightest thing happens. This will be his first Formula 1 win and I am so excited for him.

Max tries his hardest to catch up but Lando has too much of a gap and ends up winning the race. I scream and cheer so loudly that my neighbors check on me to make sure I'm okay. After I assure them I'm fine, I celebrate much more quietly. Tears form in my eyes when I see Lando standing tall on the podium, a huge smile across his face. He looks so handsome, and so happy. It makes my heart happy. When he does his famous champagne celebration I can't help but laugh and wish I was there seeing this is person. He looks so happy and carefree, like the Lando I fell in love with.

I want to reach out to him and tell him I'm proud and so happy for him but something holds me back. I haven't heard from him for a few days, but that's probably because I never messaged him back when he texted me about James. But I didn't know what to say to him then, and I still don't really know now.

🏎️🏁

It's a few hours after the race when I'm laying in bed watching The Vampire Diaries and I hear my phone ding with a notification.

DNF: I won my first race today.
Me: I know! I watched it, congratulations! <3
Me: I'm so proud of you.

I shouldn't get butterflies in my stomach over the fact that he texted me, but I can't help it. It makes me feel good knowing that he's thinking of me on such an important day for him.

DNF: You want to know what one of the first things I thought of when I won was?
Me: What?
DNF: How the only person I wanted to celebrate this win with was you.
DNF: I miss you.

My eyes begin to water as I read his messages. I'm not sure how to feel about what he's telling me. Again, my heart is begging me to give into him, let him explain and possibly give us another chance but my brain is having a hard time agreeing. I debate on how to respond to him, but then I realize I'm just kidding myself and respond truthfully.

Me: I miss you too. So much.
DNF: Open your door.

My eyes widen and I sit up quickly on my bed all while staring at his response. Is he here? That's impossible, he doesn't know where I live. But Lydia and Morgan do, and I honestly wouldn't put it past either of them to give him my address. Lydia has been begging me for weeks to hear him out so if anyone would give it to him it would be her. Do I care? No, not really, at least not in this moment.

I quickly walk to the door and look through the peep hole and see Lando standing there with his hands in his pockets looking nervous. Before opening the door, I take a deep breath to calm my nerves. A few moments later, I'm opening the door. Lando smiles timidly at me and I try to smile back but I'm having a hard time comprehending that he's even standing in front of me right now. All I can do is stare at him, and admire how good he looks.