Chapter 11

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"Cause I don't remember who I was before you painted all my nights a color I've searched for since." - Taylor Swift

Bianca

"Good morning, my beautiful, perfect daughter!" My dad shouts happily when he sees me walking into the kitchen of his home in Salzburg. He's far too chipper this morning and I hate him for it. My eyes narrow at him as I approach. My head is pounding and I feel like I need to puke, while he looks like he's ready to run a marathon in his workout outfit. He's currently sitting at the kitchen island with a coffee in his hand and a plate of eggs in front of him.

"Stop shouting, old man." I grumble as I walk towards the refrigerator to find some water. He chuckles as I grab a water bottle, open it and chug half of it. I'm not sure it's the best idea when my stomach feels so bad but I don't care, I need liquid in my body other than tequila.

"Where are Morgan and Lydia?" I ask, because they are to blame for how I feel right now. They are the ones who forced me into drinking a whole bottle of Casamigos last night. It's not like I fought them hard on it though, I've been leaning on alcohol a lot lately to help me forget about Lando, even for just a second. It rarely works though, more often then not I end up thinking about him more. And last night was no different, except they forced me to talk about him. Again, I didn't fight them on it, I've been wanting to rant to them about everything. James is a good listener but he's a dude, he doesn't understand a lot of what is bothering me.

Unfortunately neither did Morgan and Lydia. They think I'm being dumb and that I'm making Lando suffer. They think it's clear that he wants me and has made it known he doesn't want anyone else. And really? He has. I'm well aware that I'm the problem now in why we aren't together, but I don't know how to work through what I'm feeling when I don't fully understand why I feel that way.

"They left hours ago, had to get to Spielberg." My father says and I nod in understanding. I knew they were heading there today, but wasn't aware they were leaving so early.

"Are you sure you don't want to head that direction too? We have an open invitation for the Red Bull garage. I just have to make a call." He asks and I contemplate his offer for a moment. Morgan and Lydia have been trying to convince me to go with them all week long, and last night they almost convinced me but in the end I declined again. Truthfully, I do want to go. I want to see Lando. But I need to be sure of my feelings and what I want before I see him again and right now, I'm still confused.

"Yes, I'm sure. I'm here to see you." I tell him as I move to sit beside him at the kitchen island. He watches me for a moment before sighing and I glance towards him with my eyebrows raised in question.

"I'm happy you're here." He finally says, and I know that's not what he wanted to say but I let it go. I'm not in the right state of mind currently with this hangover to have a heart to heart that I know he was about to start.

"Me too. I've missed you." I tell him as I lean against his shoulder. He kisses the top of me head and tells me he's missed me too and it feels nice to be here with my dad. Like old times, when I was a little girl and all we had was each other.

"You know what else I miss..." I say with a smile and he hums in question.

"You're infamous unicorn rainbow flippy-flops." He chuckles as he processes what I'm requesting and I can't help but smile brightly.

Unicorn rainbow flippy-flops are just belgian waffles with whipped cream, rainbow sprinkles, and a strawberries on top. When I was a child, I called waffles flippy-flops because I could never remember the word 'waffle' and the unicorn rainbow is self explanatory because what little girl doesn't like rainbows and unicorns? He typically made them for me for special occasions like my birthday, but he also made them when I was sad or going through something, so it seems fitting to have them now.

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