After

Getting through it

Conrad's pov
Once belly came back she took ruby to bed as I got to my fourth beer and sat in bed stairing blankly at the wall I didn't hear her come in

"Con"
"Conrad"

"What, sorry bells"
"Thinking about anna"
"How could she do that bells"
"I don't know" belly said sadness in her voice

"We never did that shit right we always had Laurel or my mum"
"But it's different for everyone else not everyone has a Susannah or a Laurel" she said

"Is it me am I that really bad at being a dad" I said tears brimming my eyes
"Hey look"
"Conrad look at Me" she said as I slowly turned my head as she sat on my lap

"You are the best dad to those girls and partner i and they could ask for Anna is probably just going through a tough time right now it's hard to talk to people she definitely has your closed of touch" she said as she hugged me as I hugged back

"I just hate fucking up"
"Your not fucking up conrad"
"Im sorry belly you shouldn't have to listen" I said as I sniffled

"Hey till death do us part you can tell me anything" she said as I pulled her back down to hug me"

The next day at breakfast Jeremiah came and got ruby so it was just me, belly and Anna in the house

"Ready" belly said
"Nope" I said as I smiled

"ANNA COME HERE" I said from the stairs
"Coming"

We all sat at the table she covered her skin with makeup so we couldn't see them
"Right belly"
"Anna, we aren't mad we are just upset you didn't tell us"

"Im sorry I should've told you first"
"Why did you do it" I asked

"I got told to, and it kept happening every day and I couldn't turn it off and one thing led to another"
"Well we are here for you no matter what just talk to us but what's gonna happen is your gonna spend the night at laurels and she already knows about this, we are gonna go through your room with your permission of course and take anything sharp away deal"

"Deal" she said as she got up to hug us
"We just want you happy bean"
"I know" she said as she hugged us closer
"I think you need to also talk to jere you really have worried him"
"I will and I'm sorry I did that I should've just spoke to you and not him"
"I get it I would've done the same but jere is my brother he would never keep a secret from me"

"I know that now" she said smiling as she walked to go sit by the pool

"Im proud of you"belly said
"Thankyou" I replied as I half hugged her and kissed her head

We are all gonna be okay

Samaritans – for everyone
Call 116 123
Email jo@samaritans.org
Information:
Campaign Against Living Miserably (CALM)
Call 0800 58 58 58 – 5pm to midnight every day
Visit the webchat page
Information:
Papyrus – prevention of young suicide HOPELINE247
Call 0800 068 41 41
Text 07860 039967
Email pat@papyrus-uk.org
Information:
Childline – for children and young people under 19
Call 0800 1111 – the number will not show up on your phone bill
Information:
SOS Silence of Suicide – for everyone
Call 0300 1020 505 – 4pm to midnight every day
Email support@sossilenceofsuicide.org
Message a text line

If you do not want to talk to someone over the phone, these text lines are open 24 hours a day, every day.

Information:
Shout Crisis Text Line – for everyone

Text "SHOUT" to 85258
Information:
YoungMinds Crisis Messenger – for people under 19

Text "YM" to 85258
Talk to someone you trust

Let family or friends know what's going on for you. They may be able to offer support and help keep you safe.

There's no right or wrong way to talk about suicidal feelings – starting the conversation is what's important.

Who else you can talk to

If you find it difficult to talk to someone you know, you could:

call a GP – ask for an emergency appointment
call 111 out of hours – they will help you find the support and help you need
contact your mental health crisis team – if you have one