Nocturnal Buddies ✩ Yang Jeongin

Chapter 9

It was the worst thing he heard that afternoon, learning that fans had started to crowd around the small café his group would often visit. He felt guilt consume him entirely as he drowned out his members' conversation. It was all his fault after all, he shouldn't have stared. The more he recalled what happened, he felt his breathing start to constrict. His blood pulsated loudly in his ears, as his heart pounded against his chest.

The younger member started to unknowingly hyperventilate in front of the others, causing all their attention to shift towards him. Chan was quick to act, rushing over to the younger boy, and tried to calm Jeongin down. Unable to hear the comforting words coming out of his leader's mouth, he panicked and frantically looked around the room. Were they mad at him? Their eyes bored into him, as he mistaked their concerned stares for anger.

Tears pricked in his eyes, as he continued to endlessly blame himself. He had made the rookie mistake, it was all his fault. His thoughts was suddenly pried away from him, when Chan pulled him into a hug, muttering into the younger boy's shoulder. Jeongin felt overwhelmed by emotion, unsure which one he should confront first. His other members started to surround him, words spilling out of their lips but he couldn't make sense of anything.

"I'm sorry..." he finally managed to utter out despite the lump in his throat.

He desperately swallowed down the dryness in his throat, hoping to push down all his emotions with it. His eyes flickered between everyone's expression, attempting to gauge their reaction. However, his tears had blurred all their features, making it hard for him to see how truly concerned they were for their friend.

"Why are you apologizing?" Chan pushed the younger boy back, assessing the overwhelming amount of emotions taking over Jeongin's body. His eyebrows furrowed at the sight, before trying to pinpoint what was going on in his friend's mind.

"Because of me... we can't- I mean, the café... It's all my fault." His voice broke, as he formed an incoherent sentence due to his spinning mind.

"Jeongin, it's not your fault," Minho said, and the others nodded their heads in agreement. "So don't blame yourself."

The younger boy, however, didn't want to believe it. He had convinced himself that it was, and, no matter how much his friends comforted him, there was no way around it.

"You know, no amount of disguises can guarantee that a fan won't recognize us through other means, like our stature or something else. There are people who will devote their time just to memorize each part of our bodies." Hyunjin's sentence slowly turned into a mutter, feeling extremely uncomfortable to admit that this was their reality as idols.

"He's right, Jeongin, they don't need our faces to identify us- or even assume it. And it's not in our control with what fans will post about us, especially exposing places we often visit..." Jisung's sentence drew off before he fell quiet, realizing how sad it sounded.

Things that were enjoyed by the average person could be instantly ruined for someone like them if they're not careful.

"So don't blame yourself, Jeongin... This is just... what comes with our career." Chan ruffled the younger boy's hair, as his lips curved up into a bitter smile.

Despite how the room had fallen quiet after being cruelly pulled back to reality, they all tried to muster a smile- one that appeared bitter, but they didn't intentionally want it to come off as such.

Jeongin wiped away his tears before his eyes, still blurred with guilt, raked over each one of his members. Despite their sadness, they made it clear that they didn't blame him, because it was never truly in their control to begin with.