My escape| Jaywon

10. DESOLATION

Was

"I wish my brain could forget what
my eyes have seen."
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-Dave Parnell-
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Warning!/ PTSD/ Trauma/ Suicidal thoughts/ Self harm/ Traumatic episodes/ Panic attacks

Author

Jungwon cried that whole night in Jays arms. The older man was currently asleep and Jungwon was awake as he couldn't go back to sleep after a nightmare.

He was already dealing with a lot with just Daehuel touching him and making him touch the man back. But he had never expected that Daehuel would one day actually rape him.

He said so his self he couldn't do it because it was too risky.

Jungwon felt disgusting and he hated it so much. His butt was still throbbing in pain and he was sure he couldn't walk for more than 20 seconds.

He grabbed his phone and quietly slips out of the bed before basically crawling into Jays bathroom and locking it.

SELF HARM STARTS HERE-

He stayed on the floor before taking off the bear themed phone case he had in his phone and taking the blade from it.

He always had it hidden closest to him. This was the best method to help him release some of the emotions he was currently feeling. He hadn't done this in a very long time and the old small scars had faded especially since they weren't deep.

He pulls up his sleeve on his left arm before placing the blade again his skin with pressure before gliding it across his arm before going over the same cut and doing it again making it deeper.

He lets out a very small hiss the first time but the second time felt good although it stung. Feeling like it wasn't enough he picked another spot on his wrist to drag the sharp blade over but this time the cut was as deep as the other one without having to do it again.

He placed the blade back into his case before putting it back on his phone.

-SELF HARM ENDS HERE

He then started to clean his cuts and found bandaged in Jays cabinet and placed one on both of the cuts before he left.

When going back in there Jay was up and right outside the door as he was faced with a very empty looking Jungwon.

"Still don't want to talk?" Jay asked in a gentle tone and Jungwon just shook his head no. Jay just nods reaching his hand out to rub his head and Jungwon surprisingly to Jay, doesn't flinch.

Jungwon knew Jay wouldn't hurt him so his body didn't feel the need to flinch.

"That's fine." Jay says picking him up and placing him back on the bed as gently as he could. "Can you at least tell me what hurts? And I know your hurt somewhere because you were bleeding a little last night when you fell asleep." Jay said and Jungwon looked down in embarrassment and shame.

How would he explain why his butt was bleeding. "I just want to know so I can help you. I won't ask any questions until you decide to tell me yourself." Jay said.