My escape| Jaywon

20. Loved and Loving

The rest of the chapters are us witnessing Jungwon healing and realizing how much he's needed!

Relapse is a thing, so sometimes his thoughts or actions could still be negative, just be patient, he'll be truly happier soon!

Please leave comments!❤️

Jungwon~

"NO! JUNGWON STOP YOURE EVIL!" Sunoo squealed loudly as I laughed as I chased him, I was currently at a laser tag joint at a huge like arcade place.

Everyone was here, and I so happened to find Sunoo, I was trying to shoot the light up thing on his back and get him out, but man was he fast.

I eventually got him, and he pouted as we left the laser tag joint. I was smiling a little as I followed behind the group. All the feeling of a warm hand slipping into mine makes me look to the side to see Jay of course.

"Are you enjoying yourself?" He asked kissing me on the cheek briefly as we continued to walk. "I am. Thank you." I told him as his smile widens. "You don't have to thank me sweetheart." He tells me sweetly before we continue to walk in silence while holding hands.

I still don't understand how he was willing to stay by someone as broken as me, but I was grateful he did, I needed someone to believe in me when I didn't believe in myself.

Soon we were all at a restaurant, at a big booth table to fit all of us.

"You ok?" Jay asked, snapping me out of the small trance I had been in, thinking about the usual, mainly questioning if I deserved to be happy at the moment.

"Yea, just questioning myself again." I told him honestly as he lets out a small sigh. We were making it a habit, of telling each other how we felt, regardless of how bad it could be, and I think it was helping me be more open instead of keeping it in.

"Wanna wait til we get home to talk?" He asked me sweetly as he wraps an arm around my waist and pulled me to sit closer to his side. I nodded, not wanting our friends to overhear and become worried.

They still knew I sometimes doubted everything, but they didn't know it wasn't as better as they thought it was, I will be fully happy again one day, but what Jay has said that stuck with me, is that it takes a while to get over multiple years of trauma, and we just have to be patient, and I believe him.

To me, Jay was the smartest man I knew, I've never met anyone who puts words together better than he did, or defining situations. He was good at comforting people and he cared about the ones close to him a lot, and I loved how kindhearted he was.

But he still had firmness to him, he wouldn't let you try and take advantage of him or walk all over him just because he's kind, he realizes when someone's trying to use his kindness for something he doesn't want it to be used for.

I will always say I'm lucky to have him with me, being here when I needed him, because without him I really would not be here.

But he's let me know, that he's not the only one who saves someone in this relationship, he says I saved him too. He met me still during the time of him grieving over his brother, and just like that he stopped being a mess, because he wanted to be someone he knew wouldn't hurt me, and he claimed that the old him, would've broken my heart time and time again.

It's hard for me to imagine that, but all of our friends said it was true. Jay used to be a player, did hard drugs, slept around almost every night, surprising he didn't get any STDS, it was a shocker he wasn't hospitalized with all the things he's told me he's done to his body using substances or other physical pain.