Eccedentesiast

Chapter 37

Stiles's Pov

I couldn't concentrate.

I was basically out of it the entire day, lost in my own thoughts and lost in what Malia had said before.

The teachers didn't seem to mind because as long as I got my work turned in and wasn't a bother that's all they really cared about.

Which is honestly fine for me since the last thing I need is to get detention.

But Malia's words from before are still on my mind and I'm just trying to forget about it but it's freaking hard.

There's no way that I love Luke.

Right?

I can't love him. There's no way.

Luke and I are friends and even though we've gone on dates and even though we've revealed our feelings for each other we're not even a couple. 

We're taking things slow. I need them to be slow. I want them to be slow.

I really like Luke and I care about him the same way he does with me. And there's no denying that, yeah, I want him.

But the last thing I want right now is to get into a relationship that quick. I want to wait.

The last thing I want is another heartbreak.

Not after what happened between Derek and I.

Luckily, Luke understands that and isn't annoyed at me nor is he pressuring me to be his boyfriend.

He's patient and he's willing to wait. And that's what I appreciate the most about him.

I wasn't too lost in my thoughts so I was able to hear the bell that indicated the end of lunch. I gathered my things and left the classroom and headed for my locker.

I opened my locker and began putting my things away so I could head to lunch and meet the others.

But, of course, my mind went back to what I was thinking about before.

I know I said I want to wait for Luke and I to become a couple, at least until the time is right, but is that what I want?

Do I want to continue waiting?

Do I want to continue acting like it's better for us to take things slow when I just want us to finally make things official?

Am I stupid for wanting to take things slow?

I truly thought that's what I wanted but it's not. At least I don't think so.

But the thought of just calling Luke a friend rather than calling him my boyfriend, that feels really good to say, hurts.

The thought of not being able to introduce him as my boyfriend to others hurts.

But what hurts the most is that I'm not doing anything about it and letting the whole, take it slow thing, play out. 

What if I want to make things official?

What if I want...

"Whose jacket are you wearing?"

I clenched my eyes shut and gritted my teeth and did my best to hold in a groan.

I turned my head around to see Scott standing there with a confused look on his face and his eyebrows pinched together.

"Can I help you?" I asked, trying to hold in my annoyance.

"Whose jacket are you wearing?" Scott asked again.