Ready To Run?

Chapter 5

(You're Losing Me By Taylor Swift)

Cora's Pov

I pulled up to his house, the light rain starting to come down. It's been raining all day in North Carolina. I've been wondering what to do all day, and I honestly think that this is the healthiest option.

We are both scared of what is going to happen when I leave or go to Florida. We are both scared of how deep we are in love with each other. I stepped out of the car, and walked up to the door, knocking on it.

The door swung open, and I held my straight face. I looked at him. His eyes were glassy, probably from crying, and he was bundled up in a hoodie and sweatpants. He looked at me with a confused expression and I just stood there.

"Do you want to come in?" He moved to the side for me to come in, but I made no attempt to move.

"I think I'll just stay out here for today." I responded and he looked at me confused. His eyebrows furrowed.

"Is everything okay- '' He started and I broke down into tears. I promised myself that I wouldn't cry. But I guess promises never last long.

"No. No, everything is not okay."

"What's wrong?" He asked, closing the front door to the house and standing outside with me.

"You." I managed to get out, and his face morphed into hurt, pain, sadness, confusion, anger.

"What? What about me?"

"You didn't show up. We fought, and I get it, I didn't text you at all, but I was angry and upset. I needed space." I cried and he just stood there with his arms crossed.

"Then you throw me a surprise birthday party, and you don't show?" I spoke in anger, letting my emotions get the best of me.

I hated doing this.

I hated fighting.

I hated arguing.

I hated feeling completely helpless with this.

"I didn't think you would want me there after our fight. You made it pretty clear that you didn't want to talk. You didn't text me." He spoke calmly and I felt my anger levels slowly drop, and the sadness started to kick in.

"Karl. I don't want this for us." I said, looking up at him. He had tears in his eyes. The height difference wasn't terrible. I was 5'4, he was currently 5'8. We both were still growing.

"What do you mean? You want to break up?" His voice broke with every word and I just stood there with a blank expression.

"I don't want us to constantly fight. I want you to show up for me even when we're falling apart." His hand traveled to my hair, pushing a strand behind my ear.

"I don't want this for us. I don't want you putting yourself after me." He shook his head once I finished speaking, and I knew what was coming.

"I understand where you are coming from, Cora. Believe me, I really do. But I can't put myself before you. You deserve to be put first." More tears fell.

"And I understand why you want to make sure I'm taken care of, but it's not right." I spoke, knowing where this was going.

"Cora-" He tried, and I could hear him getting frustrated.

"I don't think we should be together if you're going to let me follow my dreams, but not follow yours." I said, looking at his face, as he looked away from me, letting more tears fall from his eyes.

Heartbreak.

Sadness.

Pain.

Anger.

Confusion.

All of the emotions that I was feeling at this current moment.

All of the emotions I knew that I would feel for a long time.

"Cora, you don't mean that."

"I can't let you throw your dreams down the drain, Karl. Who would I be if I let that happen? Who would I be if I let you throw everything away for me to succeed?" He let out a deep breath, and ran his hands through his hair in frustration.

"So this is it?" He asked, finally looking me in the eyes.

And god I wish he didn't. The anger and sadness filled his eyes, and I was the one that was responsible for those emotions.

"You're not going to try and fight me on this? You won't tell me that you'll follow your dreams? You won't-"

"Cora, no dream is worth following if you're not involved in it!" He yelled, and I closed my eyes, letting the tears stream down my face.

"You weren't even going to follow it with me in it!" I screamed back which caught him off guard. He went silent because he knew that I was right.

"I am not the only person in this goddamn world that should be able to follow their dreams. I am not the only person in this world that needs guidance. And I sure as hell am not the only person in this world that doesn't know what the next step is."

I felt like I could hear my heartbeat.

"I get it Karl, I do! But it doesn't feel right for me to let it happen. You need to do this for yourself. In a few years you'll be thanking me. You'll be thanking me for pushing you to be your best. You'll be thinking it when you're sitting in front of that goddamn camera, and everyone is loving you because everyone will."

Silence.

He was silent.

"If losing me is what it takes for you to wake up and follow your dreams, then you need to let me go. You need to do this for yourself, Karl." I looked down at the promise ring on my finger, and I looked at the one on his finger.

Silence. But I couldn't be mad because I don't know what to say either. The rain was coming down hard now, and I stared at him for a few seconds, waiting for him to say something. When there was no answer, I turned around, and started walking back to the car.

"I love you, Cora." He said, and I stayed facing away from him.

"I love you, Karl." I walked quickly to the car, and once I got in, and started it, I hit the steering wheel and broke down crying.

"You are a horrible person, Cora." I said, looking in the mirror at myself.

The tears filled my eyes, and I pulled away from his house, speeding down the street. I don't know how I got home, but I did. My face was puffy and red, my eyes were bloodshot. I walked into the house, everyone turning to stare at me.

"Cora?" My mother asked, looking at me with worry. Cara and Chandler turned around and froze in their place.

"I'm going to Florida at the end of this week. I'm going to start my classes early." I spoke, causing everyone to look at me in confusion.

"You can't-" My mother stood up and rushed over to me.

"I already talked to the course director, they are going to move me. I'm going, Mom."

Block: Karl :D

1195 Words