Don't run away from me

ch. 9

// joshua;

The days flew by without realizing it, and Joshua is now behind the curtains, Jeonghan arranging the final details for his performance. In less than 10 minutes, he would step onto the stage in front of the entire college and the professors, but the excitement is even greater when he remembers that Seokmin will be there too.

After agreeing with Jihoon to participate in the festival, Joshua stayed up for nights on end to rehearse the carefully chosen song with his roommate and also the person in charge of the whole event. From the first time he heard the song, Joshua felt that he resonated with its lyrics, capturing his entire situation in a harmonious tone. Although Jihoon repeatedly told him that he was doing great, Joshua was still anxious. He started rehearsing even during breaks between classes, skipping meals and cutting down on sleep to practice endlessly. In the last week, he disconnected from everything around him, too focused to pay attention to those around him.

"Joshua Hong, you're up in 5 minutes," a girl from the staff team informed him, and Joshua nodded, doing the final breathing exercises with Jeonghan to calm his nerves. His friend gave him a long and encouraging hug, making him feel better knowing that someone had so much confidence in him. As Joshua walks towards the designated waiting area indicated by the technical team, he feels his legs turning into jelly. Suddenly, he feels a hand on his back and immediately turns around at the familiar touch.

"Jun? What are you doing here?" Joshua responds to his friend's embrace, still confused by his presence.

"You were so focused on your own performance that you didn't even notice that I'm in Soonyoung's dance group, right?"

"You've already been on stage?!" Joshua sees the sparkling costume and sweat on his friend's arms, feeling absolutely embarrassed that he hadn't noticed his presence until now.

"That doesn't matter right now, we'll talk later. Don't be too nervous, I'll be in the audience watching you, okay? I'm rooting for you, Shua! I know you can do it!" Jun lightly taps Joshua's shoulder and then disappears when Joshua hears his name being called on stage.

He freezes for a few seconds as the spotlight blinds him when he takes his first steps on stage. His heart is pounding so loudly in his chest that he can't even hear his own thoughts. It's not his first time on stage, but it's the first time in front of such a large crowd. He sits on the chair positioned in the middle of the stage, holding the guitar tightly in his arms. He looks at the hundreds of eyes focused solely on him, and there's complete silence in the room. He desperately searches for a familiar face, sweat forming on his forehead.

"Shua hyung!" a familiar whisper from his left distracts his attention, and when he turns his gaze, it's Jihoon and next to him, Seokmin. Seokmin smiles at him, gesturing that he's rooting for him.

Suddenly, all thoughts vanish from Joshua's mind, having only one person occupying both his thoughts and heart. He takes a deep breath, smiling back at the two of them, then turns towards the microphone, adjusting the guitar.

"I dedicate this song to someone I miss very much." a wave of applause fills the entire room, and Joshua hears Jeonghan and Seungcheol chanting his name.

(I changed the lyrics just where necessary so that Joshua could identify more with the artist's song: girl; my lady > boy; my man.)

Your and my relationship is still really vague
We are not more than friends but this relationship needs some clarification
Of course, it seems like it's only me who feels this way
You are yawning again without covering your mouth
We go to cafes and often to the movies
We go shopping too, we do everything couples do
But just one thing is different: we are no couple
Don't say you're lonely when I am right in front of you

I'm thinking about you baby
I lie down idly and just think of you every day
I need you, could you be my man?
If you accept me, I will give my all for your sake
I think I'm in love. Why does it feel
Particularly cold, this winter?
I'm going crazy boy
Come into my arms now
(These words just linger on the tip of my tongue)

I can't open my mouth [to speak]
When I meet you, I just end up joking around
The opportunities [to confess] become less and less
I can't be serious although my feelings are this earnest
The weather gets colder
All men and women in the streets are in each other's arms and making a fuss
We are still walking slightly apart
My hand moves towards yours and hesitates, and hesitates, and hesitates again

I'm thinking about you baby
I lie down idly and just think of you every day
I need you, could you be my man?
If you accept me, I will give my all for your sake
I think I'm in love. Why does it feel
Particularly cold, this winter?
I'm going crazy boy
Come into my arms now
(These words just linger on the tip of my tongue)

I wanna love you, wanna love you baby
Will you go out with me or not? Make a choice
My heart feels like it's about to burst
Hurry up and answer, boy

I wanna love you, wanna love you baby
Will you go out with me or not? Make a choice
My heart feels like it's about to burst
Hurry up and answer, boy

I'm thinking about you baby
I lie down idly and just think of you every day
I need you, could you be my man?
If you accept me, I will give my all for your sake
I think I'm in love. Why does it feel
Particularly cold, this winter?
I'm going crazy boy
Come into my arms now
(These words just linger on the tip of my tongue)

The first snow is falling~

Joshua put so much emotion and feeling into the song that when he reached the end and opened his eyes, he realized that two hot tears were falling down his cheeks, his voice trembling in the final part. He swallowed the rest of his tears, quickly wiping the ones on his face with the sleeve of his jacket. He quickly stood up from his chair and took a deep bow, as the room filled with loud applause and cheers. Joshua hurried off the stage, keeping his head down as he made his way through the people preparing for the next act. He suddenly feels his wrist caught in a tight grip, causing him to stop in his tracks. When he looks up, Seokmin seems like he's about to say something important but can't find the right words. Joshua blinks rapidly, feeling the butterflies in his stomach immediately.

"Minnie, it's our turn!" Cha-young's voice breaks the tension between the two boys, and Joshua feels like he's brought back to reality in just a fraction of a second. He gently takes Seokmin's hand and pulls it away, giving a weak smile and making a short, polite, and formal bow.

"It seems like they need you." Joshua turns his back, avoiding seeing Seokmin's gaze, still feeling too vulnerable after exposing all his feelings in front of the entire college.

Coming out of the backstage, Jeonghan and Seungcheol were waiting for him with a small bouquet of flowers, visibly proud and happy for their friend. They hurried back into the hall to take their seats and watch Seokmin's musical. There, Joshua met Wonwoo, Mingyu, Seungwan and Vernon, Seungwan's boyfriend. They all congratulated Joshua and then prepared for the long-awaited moment, which Joshua wished he could have avoided witnessing.