Don't run away from me

ch. 10

//seokmin;

Seokmin had found out a few hours earlier that Joshua would also be performing on stage at the festival. He had seen him backstage, just as beautiful and attractive as always, his outfit elegant yet casual, sending small shivers down Seokmin's spine. He had given up on the plan to let go of his feelings for Joshua, realizing that this was probably the curse he would carry for the rest of his life. Seungcheol had told him that Joshua was struggling just as much, and this probably left Joshua confused and puzzled as to why Seokmin was suddenly ignoring and avoiding him. Joshua was truly innocent because it wasn't his fault that he had a boyfriend while Seokmin secretly harbored feelings for him, and Seokmin had done nothing but hurt Joshua all this time. As he was getting ready in the makeup chair, his seat was next to Soonyoung, who was also getting the final touches.

"Aish, this boy, huh?" Soonyoung laughs at his phone screen, and Seokmin peeks to see what he's looking at.

"What happened?" Seokmin asks curiously about their friend's conversation.

"I have a new member in the group, you know, right? Wen Junhui. The Chinese boy, tall, blonde. He's sooo into Minghao's."

"Huh?" Seokmin jumps in his seat, eyes wide and amazed by what he heard. "Which Junhui?" Seokmin leans closer to Soonyoung and looks at the phone, seeing a picture of the same Junhui with his arms wrapped around Joshua on that day at the cafe. "Does he have a twin brother?" Seokmin hands the phone back.

"No, he's an only child from what I understood from him. Oh, apparently he considers Joshua as his brother because they grew up together, they lived in the same neighborhood."

Seokmin sits in his chair, lost in thoughts, while Soonyoung continues. "He came all the way from a 2-hour distance just to be in the same group as Minghao. He's been pursuing him since spring when we went to the Olympics, but Minghao keeps giving him the most stinging rejections. I don't understand why he still tries."

"He's liked Minghao since spring?"

"Yes!! Tell me this boy isn't stupid." Soonyoung recites the conversation from the group chat and starts laughing again. Seokmin messed up big time. He ignored Joshua without any reason, and they weren't even together. He misinterpreted everything, and it was all his fault for never giving Joshua a chance to get closer to him. He acted selfishly and full of himself without thinking at all about the other person's feelings, who was probably blaming themselves for something that wasn't their fault at all. Seokmin's stomach clenches like a claw, feeling like he needs to throw up. He gets up from the makeup chair and as he heads towards the bathroom, Jun grabs Seokmin's shoulders.

"Wow, dude, are you okay? You don't look good at all." Even though he didn't need help, Jun offers to accompany him to the bathroom and while Seokmin is vomiting, Jun manages to get him a bottle of water and brings it to him.

"Thank you." Seokmin splashes cold water on his face, feeling Jun's hand gently patting his back. The fact that Jun wasn't a bad person made Seokmin feel even more guilty.

"No problem, that's how I was during my first performance. We all go through it."

Seokmin nods slightly and leans against the edge of the sink to rinse his mouth. Jun is called by Chan, another member of the dance group, as they were about to go on stage in 3 minutes. In a fleeting gesture that surprises Seokmin, Jun embraces him, briefly but warmly, patting his shoulder. "It's going to be okay!" he waves as he exits the bathroom door, leaving Seokmin alone to drown in his thoughts. Shortly after, Seokmin returns to the makeup chair where he reviews his lines until it's time to go on stage. He is constantly distracted by the thought that Joshua suffered because of him, trying to push it to the back of his mind until all the chaos with the musical is over. Cha-young calls him for one last rehearsal, but when he hears the announcement that Joshua is going on stage, he runs without hesitation, arriving just in time to give him a sign from backstage, alongside Jihoon. Seokmin can only hear Joshua's voice in those moments. As if everything around them had disappeared and it was just the two of them. Like a honey stream, Seokmin feels his heart soaked in the sweetness of Joshua's voice, feeling as if the lyrics were meant for him. He swallows the lump in his throat, holding back the tears that threaten to burst out at any moment. The longing for Joshua overwhelms him, regretting all the moments when he wasn't braver, when he hesitated and ran away out of fear of losing Joshua, not realizing that's exactly what he was doing with his behavior. He wanted to hold him in his arms for the rest of his life, to be able to give Joshua the happiness he truly deserved, and he would do everything possible for him to be the person by his side through thick and thin. When the song ended, Joshua went in the opposite direction, exiting to the other end of the stage where Seokmin was. Seokmin started running as fast as he could to catch up, and when he did, he simply froze. He had so much to say, but no word seemed helpful enough. He heard his name being called, but he wanted to stay by Joshua's side at any cost.

"It seems like they need you." Joshua turns his back, avoiding seeing Seokmin's gaze.

Seokmin reaches out again to catch Joshua, but his own wrist is pulled by Cha-young. Frustrated, but aware that he had to be responsible and competent on stage because everyone was counting on him, Seokmin follows the young girl onto the stage.

The cursed love story between the two characters is portrayed impeccably by the two partners, Seokmin and Cha-young, having an undeniable chemistry between them. However, at the end of the scene, when Seokmin was supposed to kiss her, he looks up towards the crowd and accidentally locks eyes with Joshua. He turns his gaze away from the scene, trying to focus his attention on something else during that moment. Seokmin takes the girl's hand in his and places a kiss on the back of her hand, causing a wave of gasps.

"Seokmin, you have to kiss her!" Jihoon whispers to him from backstage, and Seokmin looks back at Joshua, who is looking at him with confusion. He leans over the girl and pulls the cloak over them, hiding from the audience whether the kiss happened or not.

"That's so gay," Seungwan comments from his seat, and everyone around him bursts into laughter, including Joshua.

At the end of the festival, the entire group was waiting for Seokmin and Jihoon to join them, with the dance group joining them beforehand. As they received applause, Soonyoung approached and gave Jihoon a bouquet of flowers and a basket full of goodies. Joshua noticed Jihoon's shy reaction and couldn't help but grin, knowing he would tease him about it later at home.

"Now that we're all here, let's go grab a drink!" Jeonghan suggests, eliciting a positive reaction from everyone.

Since there are 13 of us, we split into taxis of 4, and Joshua ends up being alone in the last one.

"I'll stay with Joshua, you guys go ahead!" Seokmin steps away from the taxi where he was supposed to get in with Mingyu, Minghao, and Wonwoo, waving goodbye as they drive off.

"You didn't have to stay, I can manage on my o-" Joshua suddenly feels Seokmin's strong arms around his shoulders, completely freezing. "Wha-what..."

Seokmin doesn't respond, staying like that for a few more moments until he feels Joshua's shy arms rising and wrapping around his waist. Seokmin feels a flutter in his chest, his heart starting to beat wildly, scared that Joshua would hear it as loud as it was pounding in his chest. The two boys stay in that tightly hug until the taxi arrives, unaware of the precious minutes that have passed. In the taxi, both of them occupy the back seat, too shy to look at each other, keeping silent until they arrive at the venue where the rest of the boys were waiting.