doomed

Chapter 29

The next morning came so fast it felt like I had gotten zero sleep.

I didn't care though, yeah I was tired as hell but I knew she was two rooms away from me sleeping in my apartment. I liked the idea more than I wanted to.

Sadly it didn't change the fact that I had to go run 10 miles now. At six in the morning. The most exhausting side of boxing. Honestly, I didn't hate running, I just hated the timeframe I had to do it.

But I had put that on myself, no one had told me I had to go run at 6, I chose it myself because I knew if I'd put it later in the day I'd find a way to somehow skip it. Or something would come between me and the trail so that even though I wanted to, I couldn't.

I changed into sweats and a black hoodie before making my way outside.

I ran along East River and over the bridge to Williamsburg. I loved running down Marys Ave because there was this big Train station above your head and a lot of little stores. It was also a lot less busy than Manhattan, so not many people ever recognized or even noticed me.

I had never even been caught by Paparazzi there which was very unusual for any neighbourhood. Somehow they always found you, there was nothing you could do, even if you tried.

Probably ninety nine times out of all the times they had seen me, I had tried my absolute best to hide from them. Going so far to even wear a full face mask for them to not recognize me. And they still managed to.

Had to admire the work ethic honestly.

I arrived back home at 7.34am, having 11.4 miles on the clock and an average heart rate of 140 beats. I sent it to my trainer to proof I had done it and quickly made my way upstairs. I walked past the guest room with the still closed door and stopped for a moment.

If she was still sleeping?

I hoped for the best sleep known to human kind, if anyone deserved it then it was her. The things she had seen yesterday must have traumatized her to an absurd amount. Even more the things that came crushing down on her.

It felt good to know that I was here though, nothing could hurt her; I'd make sure of that.

I decided not to look inside and just let her rest in peace, instead I took a very necessary shower and quickly changed into a new pair of baggy, grey sweats and a black muscle t. Basic at home clothes.

I sat down on the edge of my bed and checked the time. 8am.

I was fucking starving but if I made breakfast for myself now that meant I couldn't eat with her.

Not that I would be able to eat the stuff she was eating anyway, always had to cut weight for some reason but still. I wanted to be seated across from her and listen to her talk about her dreams of last night while we eat.

I wanted her to tell me everything she had planned for the day and her week ahead, to see her smile when she thinks about something good happening soon; or to make her laugh with a dumb joke no one understood.

But then again, maybe I needed to pop my bubble a little bit. Something in me just wanted her.

That didn't automatically mean she was ready to want me, I didn't even want her to want me right now. She honestly needed time to focus on herself after what she had lived through but the thought of her in my arms again, it felt too good to ignore.

So right.

I was probably overreacting, exaggerating even but I was so fucking drawn to her. Something in me felt so different when I was with her; I couldn't just be imagining that.