doomed

Chapter 52

It felt like the following week just passed me by.

I didn't have many thoughts in my brain, I didn't necessarily feel excited or worried about anything. The press conference had went well.

Cassie and I were doing good.

My father was out on a trip so I had no worry about him.

Evan had left her alone, which was partly to my surprise but then again, what had I expected? For him to actually fight for something?

Maybe he was jealous, I had seen him stalk over the corridor looking at her. I can't blame him, I was looking at her as well. He had a new girl, some cheerleader that took being his girlfriend a little too serious.

I wonder if he missed Cassie now that they were apart. I hope he did and I hope he forever would. I wished him nothing but deep pain and the worst of its kind.

It was now Saturday 10.30pm and I was on my way back home from training. We had focussed on pat work and mitts today.

I wish I could have said I was having fun during it, because usually I would have but I didn't necessarily felt that way. Training in general had been hard this week, it felt like everything was dragging along and there was still so much time till the fight.

I was still cutting weight, close to 80 now so I would be done in a few days but it made me feel unbelievably tired. To train in a sauna suit felt terrible already but when you were cutting it was even worse.

Every 15 minutes I felt like I was about to pass out and my body wasn't functioning properly. I felt tired all day long, I had zero motivation, zero thoughts.

I didn't talk much which even Cassie had noticed.

It made me feel terrible because I wanted to properly engage in conversations but my head was just blank. All I could think about was the fight and to know it was still 3 weeks till it actually happened felt like an infinite amount of time.

In one week I would leave for Vegas to join training camp.

I had been there before, shortly before my nationals fight and it had been absolutely brutal. I prayed that I would have been down to 80 till there so that I could fuel normally without stressing.

But I should be, I was at 83 right now, I could easily cut 2kg in the days leading up to the weigh ins on Friday and then refuel before Saturday evening.

Today in exactly three weeks.

I parked down in the garage and made my way into the apartment, quickly taking a shower and changing into sweats. I was so tired now, my legs were cramping because of all the running and my lower back hurt.

I needed to go to the physio tomorrow to get a massage done so that more blood would go into my muscles. I couldn't deal with an injury now, not so close to the fight.

My bed looked too comfy not to drop in it, my stomach rumbling of hunger.
I stared up at the ceiling, I couldn't eat now. It was too late and I never ate after training, if I did then I couldn't eat tomorrow morning and that would be way more painful than the hunger now.

I grabbed my water bottle from the side and chucked it down, filling my stomach with it.

I checked my phone, I hadn't for a few hours. In training I had been way too busy to even think about it and after I simply wanted to get home as quickly as possible.

Two new messages from Cassie

I tapped on the notifications showing me both the texts.

Cassie: How was training?
Cassie: Are you okay Kiernan?