A New Road ➢ Thomas Brodie Sangster

Crossroad

Breathe in. Breathe out. You can do this.

I took the first step down the stairs, running over all of my thoughts in my mind. Trying carefully not to make the floorboards squeak, I moved slowly down the staircase, also giving me sometime to think over exactly how I was going to explain my decision.

My feet settled on the cold hardwood floor and my eyes fell upon Thomas, sitting at the kitchen island in his boxers and a t-shirt. My heart raced day in my chest, knowing that right now we were in a delicate situation.

And I was scared. Terrified at what could happen. What he might say.

As I got closer and closer to him, he still hadn't noticed me, but I took in every detail about him. His eyes were bloodshot red and his face, hands, and the hair around his hairline was wet.

Thomas looked up when I took a seat across from him at the island.

"Jade, I-"

"Stop, Thomas," I said as I held out my hand. His eyes pleading and I knew he was sorry. Sorry that he made a mistake. Sorry that our lives could be changed forever.

"I know that it was an accident and you didn't mean to forget. But..but now we have to deal with it."

"I know, I know," he took in a shaky breath as he ran his hands over his face, "I fucked up. Big time. And if..if you end up pregnant-"

"Wait, I wanna say something first."

His eyes met mine and he nodded as he waited for me to speak, "I love you, no matter what. You know that right?"

A smile formed on his face, brightening his eyes and he spoke quietly, "I know. I love you too. Always have, always will."

I took in a long breath before I continued slowly, "I don't want to take a pill. Not because of "it kills the baby and all of that", I just.. I don't want any harm to come to me.

So..if I do end up pregnant, I want to keep it. And with that said, I don't want you to feel obligated to stay-"

"Obligated? What do you mean by that?" Thomas said, his voice raising slightly.

"I'm just saying I don't want to force you-"

"Force me? Jade, how could you think- I love you! I would never leave you!" Thomas yelled, his face reddening as he ran his hands through his hair and tugged at it in frustration.

I sat there, numbed down by guilt but also by fear. "I just, I don't- We..don't know. We don't know the future, Thomas. We don't know that we will still be together years from now. I just.." What I've been holding in since I came downstairs began to crack as my throat began to burn and I felt the moisture in my eyes, spilling over,

"If in the future, I'm pregnant and we don't..love each anymore, I don't want us to hate each other because we stayed together, stuck in a loveless life. It would be torture."

Thomas took looked at me with a hardened expression before he spoke, "That'll never happen."

"You can't promise that."

He stayed quiet after that, both of us just sitting there. I had no idea what to say. Where do you go from there?

"I think now would be a good time for you to hear me out this time," Thomas said, breaking the tension. I looked up at him, not bothering to wipe the tears slipping down my cheeks, and nodded.

Thomas got a glass of water before he spoke again, "What I was going to say before was that if..you end up pregnant..I would want to keep it. To raise it, together. Blake and Grace are going to do that so why can't we?"

"But we're not Grace and Blake. They've been together for years."

"What difference does the time together make if you know that you love the person." Thomas moved his hand towards mine but ultimately decided not to, "How many times do I have to say I love you?"

I buried my face in my hands, not waning to look at him or answer.

He continued to talk, trying to make me understand what I already knew, "If it happens, we can do this. I was going to ask you later but-"

I immediately snapped my head up, "No. If you're going to ask me to marry you, no."

Thomas shook his head, "No, I wasn't going to ask you that- Wait no?"

"If you asked, it wouldn't be..right. It would feel forced because you wouldn't be asking because you wanted to marry me, and purely for that purpose. It would be because of the situation at hand. You would ask under the circumstances. To prove your commitment," I said, spitting out my words and wanting to get out of that room.

Thomas stared at me, taking in my words. "I wasn't going to ask that now, and what I was going to ask..I guess I'll just wait.

No way in hell am I going to jeopardize this. Us. Any farther than I already have. If asking right now makes things feel worse for you, than it, and I, can wait."

I stared at the floor, trying to avoid the gaze I know was waiting for me. "So we know what we are going to do?"

Thomas sighed heavily, "Yeah, we do."

I played with the rim of his now empty glass on the counter, "Well, it seems we've come to a crossroad. Either I'm pregnant or I'm not. We just have to wait and see which one we're destined for."

I felt his hand squeeze mine and I finally looked up into his eyes as he spoke, "Whatever road we go along, we will go together."