thoughts of me and you

5. trigger warning

i may or may not give myself a panic attack writing this and have nightmares.........
ANYWAYS

so naturally there are things people are terrified of, these are called phobias such as a really common one called arachnophobia: fear of spiders
there are so many phobias
two major ones that i have are trypanophobia and emetophobia
what are these?

trypanophobia (trih-PAN-o-foe-bee-uh):
"the overwhelming, extreme fear of medical procedures that involve needles. It's closely related to phobias of needles, pins or sharp objects. But people with trypanophobia specifically fear needles in the medical setting." < according to google
i had to get my blood taken once recently and i fucking went numb, i was panicking so much 😭
whenever i'm watching smth (purple hearts for example) i have to look away whenever there's a needle/syringe involved

emetophobia (ee-mee-toe-foe-bee-uh):
"an extreme fear of v*ing, seeing v*, watching other people v*, or even feeling sick." < again, according to google
this is probably the biggest thing that effects me
i'm deathly afraid of it but i haven't done it in nine years (yay)
when i'm watching smth such as dear evan hansen (first of all, i love that musical) i had to mute the tv and look away bc it sends me straight into panic mode, my heart literally leaps into my throat and it takes a while for me to calm down
there's also these parts in my fav show (shadow and bone) where these ppl (they have grisha powers) literally 'took out' the blood/water from their body and it came out of their mouth and i was TERRIFIED ngl
then in wednesday, episode 3, i had to completely skip one scene at that fudge place bc even tho it happened, the people still had the stuff on their face, clothes or shoes
it makes it very difficult for me to watch new things (especially with other people)
when people are like "you know it's fake right?" YES I KNOW. THAT DOESNT MAKE ANY DIFFERENCE. MOVIES/SHOWS ARE SUPPOSED TO MAKE IT LOOK REAL. part of the reason why i never finished watching stranger things (those upside down animals were also just scary)
i also hate reading about it (and writing/talking about it)
i'm also confused about how ppl can watch that shit. like- what?
i'm also disappointed that i can't watch movies like a normal person. i also can't listen to the song "beautiful" from heathers bc smo v* in there and the first time i listened to it i fucking jumped, throwing my headphones off my head/ears
i'm talking about this now. enough trauma for me today.

i guess i'm also scared of hospitals but not like the hospital itself just the people (mostly patience)

anyways
thanks for listening and don't underestimate other ppl's fears, not everybody's the same so don't make fun of them or try to wiggle your way into taunting them or tell them it's not that big of a deal. bc it's a big fucking deal.
what are your phobias?

october 22, 2023 update: i forgot to give y'all the link to the website i use
so
here it is :D
https://www.doesthedogdie.com/