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Chapter 42
I was trying hard to take my hand from his hold but it was too tight. Buong pwersa ko na nga itong hinahatak mula sa pagkakahawak niya sa akin pero ano ba naman ang lakas ko kumpara sa kaniya.
His body was already toned and masculine even during those times that we were still together. But right now, it was more defined. All the muscles on his back were rippled with confidence without giving too much effort.
"Please stop holding my hand." malamig na utos ko habang pilit na binabawi ang kamay mula sa pagkakahawak niya.
This time, I won.
Nabitawan niya ang kamay ko dahilan para mapahinto siya at mapalingon sa akin. Walang emosyon ang mukha niya habang seryosong nakatitig sa akin.
He was looking very carefully into my eyes like he wanted to watch even the way I blinked. Sinubukan ko hanapin ang pagkagulat sa ekspresyon niya lalo pa at ito ang unang pagkakataon na muli kaming nagkita matapos ang ilang taon.
Pero imbes na siya, ako ang nakakaramdam. Na sana ay hindi niya mahalata dahil hangga't maaari, ayaw kong makita niyang naaapektuhan ako sa presensiya niya ngayon sa mismong harapan ko.
Even if I was missing him, I never hope to see him again. Or even if I did, not to the point of imagining that it would be this close.
Na kung puwede lang rin, hindi na sana mangyari pa. I was still hurting even after those years, and I hated that this pain already turned into anger.
"Where are you taking me?" I tried hard to mop my emotions on the floor and hid it under the rag. "Mag-uusap lang naman tayo, hindi ba? We can just do it here."
He wasted a couple of seconds staring at me that made me hold my breath for a while. But still, I managed to pretend to be unbothered.
"Mag-uusap lang." sagot niya.
"Exactly. Bakit kailangan mo pa akong hilahin kung saan?" Tumaas ang isang kilay ko.
He sighed and looked away. Sandali siyang tumahimik at tumitig sa kawalan bago muling ibinalik ang tingin sa akin.
"I need some privacy with you, Izza. Kung dito tayo mag-uusap ay maaari silang makisali-"
"Sila? Are you talking about the Monasterios?" my voice was straight and flat. "Perhaps, your girlfriend-"
"I don't have a girlfriend-"
"I don't care..." putol ko sa kaniya. "If you want to talk to me regarding Iesha, do it here. Huwag mo na akong dalhin pa sa kung saan-saan dahil gusto ko na rin umuwi kasama ang anak ko."
"Anak natin." his eyes darkened.
"Of course." The corner of my lips raised. "Hindi ko naman itinatanggi."
"You're not denying it but you kept the truth from me for years-"
"What are you expecting me to do?" putol kong muli sa sinasabi niya. "Lumapit sa'yo at sabihin na buntis ako? Na magkakaanak tayo? Didn't I break up with you because you have a son and I don't want him to feel incomplete because of me?"
Natawa siya, naroon ang sarkasmo. Muli siyang nag-iwas ng tingin bago binasa ang ibabang labi. Nang ituon niya ang mga mata sa akin ay naroon ang galit.
"What about my daughter, huh? Hahayaan mong lumaking walang ama-"
"That's better than letting her know your real situation!" Tumaas ang tono ko, hindi na napigilan pa. "Ayaw kong lumaki si Iesha na nagtataka kung bakit hindi mo siya puwedeng mahalin at alagaan ng buo. Iyong siya lang at walang ibang kahati. Kung bakit hindi mo siya puwedeng tabihan sa pagtulog bawat gabi dahil may ibang bata ang naghihintay sa'yo na tabihan mo rin."
