Holding On To You (A Twenty One Pilots Fanfiction)

CHAPTER THIRTY

I awoke to the sound of nothing. My mind just suddenly snapped awake, as if awoken from a dream that I couldn't seem to remember. The only sound was the light breathing of Tyler to my left, and Josh to my right. I watched their chests rise and fall, almost in sync with one another. Tyler was curled on his side, facing me, and holding onto my arm. Josh was lying on his back, a few inches away. The bed was not ideal for the three of us, but at least we managed to sleep. 

I wanted to get up, but didn't know how, as I was sandwiched between two sleeping people. I glanced at the clock. It was almost ten, and I knew my mom was expecting me by noon. I attempted to squeeze myself out from under the covers and out of bed quietly. Instead, I woke up both boys. 

Tyler mumbled, "What time is it?" 

"Almost ten," I replied. 

Josh yawned, letting out a long sigh. 

I was nearly out of bed, when Tyler pulled me back down. 

"Ouch," I laughed as I banged my elbow on the headboard, crashing into the mattress. 

Tyler pulled me close to him and kissed my forehead, gently. "I'm so sorry for everything I've said and done. The past 48 hours have been a complete blur," he whispered. 

"No worries," I assured him. 

Our lips met shortly after. 

"Well, this is awkward," chimed in Josh, from the other side of the bed.

Still facing Tyler, I laughed as I felt Josh stumble out of the bed. He made his way towards the bathroom. I looked back at Tyler to find that a smile had spread across his face... a real smile, something I hadn't seen in awhile.  

Eventually, Josh came out of the bathroom, meaning it was my turn to shower and get ready. It was already 10:32. I could hear Tyler and Josh talking in the room. I couldn't make out what they were saying, but it was good that they were talking. I couldn't deal with them angry with each other, and I'm sure they couldn't either. 

After we were all showered and cleaned up, we decided to go to the local diner to grab breakfast, before returning home. It was fun, kind of like old times. For that hour, we ignored all of the shit that was going on in our lives and just had a good time. I didn't want to go home, but it was nearly noon.

Josh picked up the bill, I left the tip, and soon we were on our way to our street. I took the long way to avoid passing by Tyler's house. Tyler had decided to stay with Josh. It was a good idea; Josh had no ties to the incident, and Tyler loved Josh's family. It was also great, because I would get to see both of them a lot. 

****

Tyler's mom's funeral was on Wednesday, the day before Thanksgiving. It would be a large turnout; his mom was loved by many. I curled my hair loosely, and put on a skinny black dress that was almost too short. Tyler wore a white button down shirt with black dress pants. He, Josh, and I rode together in silence on the way there. 

I knew that the thing stressing Tyler out the most, was the fact that his dad would be there. He didn't want to face him- he didn't want anything to do with him. 

The funeral took place at a small church. No one in his family was really religious, but it was the most ideal place to hold it. As predicted, there were tons of people. After the initial ceremony, people were asked to come up and speak if they pleased. One after another spoke highly of Kelly and how much she was loved and would be missed.

Josh was next. He explained how Kelly was a second mother to him. He shared many memories, that I had been a part of. I had forgotten about many of them. His short speech touched deep in my heart and Tyler's, bring tears to our eyes. He squeezed my hand tightly. 

A man asked the crowd if there were any last minute speeches. 

To my surprise, Tyler pulled a small white note card out of his pocket. He grabbed my hand and whispered, "Will you come with me?" 

I nodded, and followed him up to the podium. 

He glanced at the note card and then looked out into the crowd. He opened his mouth to say something, and then shut it again. I squeezed his hand reassuringly. With his other hand, he crumpled up the note card. He then began to sing, "I'm a goner. Somebody catch my breath. I'm a goner. Somebody catch my breath. I wanna be known, by you. I wanna be known, by you. Though I'm weak, and beaten down, I'll slip away into this sound. The ghost of you is close to me. I'm inside-out. You're underneath." 

I'd never heard that one before, but it was beautiful. I could feel the audience was moved by the short song. Moved, and captivated by his voice. He smiled at me. 

He then said into the microphone, "I love you mom... that was for you. She was one of a kind, and I will miss her everyday. She always supported me and my music. She always believed in me, told me I could do anything." He continued, "She was the strongest, smartest, and kindest woman I have ever met... next to this girl standing beside me." 

I blushed. 

"Let me tell you a story. I grew up with Jess and my best buddy Josh. The three of us would hang out non-stop, taking turns eating dinner at each other's houses. Naturally, my mom got to know the two of them very well. After Jess would leave, my mom would always ask me if we were dating yet. When I would say 'no,' she would tell me how good we would be for each other. After a lot of persuasion from my mother, I thought I finally had the nerve to ask Jess out, but I was wrong. She was my closest friend, next to Josh of course. We knew everything about each other, yet I was terrified. So I chickened out, and ended up regretting it for the next couple of years," he paused.

"Finally, a couple of months ago, she came into my life again, and this time around, I wasn't scared anymore. My mom insured confidence in me, and she was the first person I told once we started dating. She was so incredibly proud of me. She helped me to make the best decisions in my life, and I will never forget that. She's the one who gave me the nerve to do this..." 

Tyler reached into his pocket and pulled out a gray ring box. My heart was racing. Was this actually happening right now? Was he proposing right here? 

"Jessica, you're the best thing that's ever happened to me, and I would be lost without you. Will you marry me?" 

I was speechless at first. It was so sudden and shocking that I didn't know what to say. I was in my first year of college; I hadn't even thought about marriage. How would this work? Tyler would always be on tour, I needed to stay in school. Like he said, we only started dating a couple of months ago. I loved him, but was I ready to take this next step? I honestly didn't know. 

The absence of my response, had the crowd silent... waiting.