In My Life I Love You More

Chapter Eighty Five

Just a heads up, this chapter is very short!

    "I just don't understand it..... It wasn't like we weren't disciplined as kids. Ma smacked us when we were bad, so was everybody-but I just can't picture Daddy as terrible as Colt described." Josephina sat on the edge of her and John's bed, her fingers lightly brushed the tufts of downy hair on the twins' heads as they cooed and gurgled in response, their tiny fingers curling around hers.

The late afternoon sun filtered through the curtains, casting a warm, golden glow over the room. The room was filled with the soft, rhythmic breathing of John, who was sitting beside her on the bed, his glasses perched on his nose. He himself was gazing down at their bundles of joy with a serene smile, pure adoration in his eyes and his wife couldn't help but smile at the sight.

They'd been through so much, from their whirlwind romance in the '60s to the trials and tribulations that came their way. But through it all, their love had remained unwavering. But just when things were looking up, her brother's revelation had blindsided her, the information shaking her to her core.

She hadn't realised she'd been digging her fingernails into her palms until John covered her hands with his, easing her grip. She blinked, looking up at and seeing the concern in his brown eyes. "Love, what's been troubling you all day?" he asked, his voice gentle and empathetic.

Josephina took a deep breath and began to speak, her voice trembling with the weight of her brother's confession. "It's about Colt," she said, tears welling up in her eyes, "Earlier you asked why he stormed out? He told me something today that I never knew."

John looked at her, his brow furrowing in concern. "What did he say?"

"He said that when he was a kid, Dad... he..... abused him," Josephina whispered, her voice barely audible. "I had no idea, John. I-I didn't want to believe it.....''

John's hand gently rubbed her shoulder as he listened. "I'm so sorry, Jo. That's a heavy burden for Colt to carry, and for you to hear. But remember, you're not responsible for what happened in the past."

Tears trickled down Josephina's cheeks as she responded, "I know, John, but it's hard to shake this feeling of guilt. How could I have not known? How am I supposed to deal with my parents separation with this on top of that?!'' She stared at him.

John's expression shifted from concern to discomfort, and he pulled his hand away. Josephina noticed the change and felt a surge of annoyance. "John, why are you acting like this? This is important!"

John sighed, his discomfort evident in his voice as he began carrying the twins to their cribs, carefully laying them inside. "Jo, it's not that I don't care. It's just... well, it's family drama, and it's difficult for me. I didn't have a perfect family either, you know."

Josephina's frustration grew. "So, what? You're saying this doesn't matter because you had your own issues growing up? This is about my brother and our family!"

John's temper flared as he responded defensively. "I'm not saying it doesn't matter, Jo. I'm saying it's complicated and messy. Families have their own baggage, and sometimes, it's better to leave it packed away."

Josephina couldn't believe what she was hearing. Her voice trembled with anger as she shot back, "So, you want me to just ignore what my brother l went through because it's 'complicated and messy'? Is that the kind of support I can expect from you?"

John's frustration mirrored hers as he replied sharply, "I'm not saying that at all, Jo! I just don't want it to turn into a big, ugly mess that we can't control."

The room grew tense as the couple exchanged heated words. Josephina felt tears streaming down her face, the pain and frustration of the situation weighing heavily on her. "John, sometimes we have to face the ugly truth. We can't just hide from it! How can you just brush it off?"

John sighed, his eyes avoiding hers. "It's not that I don't care, Jo. It's just... it's hard for me to deal with all this family drama. I didn't have a perfect childhood either, you know."

Josephina's anger flared. "So, what? Because you had your own issues, we can't confront the truth about our family? Almost 15 years of marriage and this is the attitude you're coming with? I can't believe you!"

Their voices rose, the tension between them filling the room. Unbeknownst to them, Grayson, stood in the doorway, his face a mask of distress and uncomfortableness. He had heard the yelling from his room down the hall, and worry gnawed at him. He hesitated for a moment before finding the courage to speak, seeing his father's temper beginning to spike even worse.

"Mom, Dad," he said, his voice shaky, "stop yelling, please.''

Immediately, Josephine and John's argument grounded to a halt as they turned to face their distressed son. Their faces paled as they realized the pain they were inflicting on their child. They had never wanted him or Emmy to witness their confrontations.

"Oh, Gray, sweetheart," Josephine said, her voice quivering. She rushed to her son's side and pulled him into a tight embrace. "I'm so sorry, my love we frightened you...."

John joined the embrace, his voice laced with remorse. "Shite.....I'm sorry buddy, really. It's okay, your Mum and I just had a disagreement. Got some....bad news today and it was a lot.'' He glanced at Josephina who had their son tucked against her chest and they shared a look.

"I just want you to be happy and not fight," Greyson said, his voice barely audible, "You scared Emmy too.''

"What do you mean, she's scared?" Josephina asked, body tensing.

Grayson's eyes betrayed him, welling up with tears. "She heard you yelling, and she ran to my room. She's hiding under the bed, and she won't come out." He gripped his left arm, rubbing it in a self soothing manner. Guilt washed over Josephina and John simultaneously and the former gave John a pleading look, arms still embracing their son.

Without another word, John rushed down the hall to Greyson's room, where he found Emmy huddled under the bed, her eyes wide with fear and tear tracks on her small face.

"Emmy, sweetheart, it's okay," John said, her voice soft and soothing as he knelt beside her, "Mummy and Daddy were just having a disagreement, but we're okay now. You don't need to be scared lovey....... We're so sorry. We didn't mean to scare you. Everything's alright now. Come on baby, come on. It's okay. Come on baby......"

  Emmy peeked out from under the bed, her fear slowly fading as she saw her father's remorseful expression. She crawled out, throwing her arms around John, seeking comfort in his embrace. With a grunt of discomfort, John got to his feet, carrying the child back to the master bedroom where Josephina was sitting against the headboard, Greyson snuggled next to her.

John reached over, settling Emmy beside her brother who she immediately latched onto, John moving to sit next to her so that the children were nestled between their parents. The two adults shared a look of mutual guilt and apology, Josephina slipping a hand above their children's heads to reach out for John's-the latter complying and gave hers a gentle squeeze.

    On the main road, a neighbor turned up the radio as a familiar song played on 60s on 6.

              "Life is very short and there's no time for fusing and fighting."