In My Life I Love You More

Chapter Thirty Nine

Unedited.

  January 20, 1969

Smiling, John posed with Yoko, bags of their hair in their hands while cameras flashed rapidly. Though he hadn't "formally" left the Beatles in the eyes of the public, it felt good to be his own man again.

Though they weren't romantically linked anymore, Yoko served as a good professional partner and music advisor, overseeing The Plastic Ono band publicity when the was one America and aiding him with his fight for peace.

Once the press left, Yoko excused herself, having promised Kyoko a mother-daughter lunch date. John was content to be by himself, observing his new hair style with a hand mirror until a random assistant handed him a telephone.

''lo?" He was met with sobbing, famailer sobbing, that startled him and sitting up, he pressed the telephone closer to his ear,''love-Josie, what's wrong? Is it Grayson?" John could feel his stomach turn as his wife took shuddering breaths, ''breathe, lovey, breathe.''

''Grayson's fine.....the bakery..... someone burnt the bakery.'' She spoke through her sobs.

''Fuck is everyone alright?"

''Yes, but.....John someone also tried to break into the house.''

John had flown out on a heartbeat, looking far more alert than someone who had just finished an eleven hour flight when he arrived at his Santa Cruz residence. Josephina left Grayson in her mother's arms in favor of falling into John's sobbing into his chest, fingers clutching his shirt.

''What exactly happened?'' He asked, leading his distraught wife to a couch opposite his mother-in law and son.

''The firefighters say someone threw a bottle on fire through the front window of the bakery, while we all drove down to see it, someone else, or the same people, lit a cross on fire in your front yard.'' Emilia explained, holding Grayson closer to her, the baby providing a stability.

''They know why?'' John turned his attention to Beau who was leaning next to the window, staring out at the cliffs.

''Goddamn KKK or fucking assholes like that.'' Beau spat and Emilia frowned up at him.

''Beau, language.'' She scolded but her husband only rolled his eyes.

''Emilia, Josie could have been inside, our grandson, could have been inside. Hell if it wasn't for Colt having come home, who knows what could have happen if she had been home with the baby here alone.'' Beau snapped and there was a collective sigh.

''I should have been here,'' John's  whisper caught the attention of the three Americans around him, "I should have been here to protect you.'' He avoided Josephina's gaze as she pulled away from his shirt.

''No, Johnny, no. Don't you dare blame yourself. It is not your fault what happened." She cupped his cheek in her hand, eyes heartbroken at the very notion he would blame himself.

''She's right son, even if you were here, those racist assholes would have still done this shit.'' Beau added but John wasn't swayed so easily.

''It's because of me though. If I hadn't married you, you wouldn't be a target....If anything had happened to you, or Gray.....'' John trailed off and Josephina wrapped her arms around him, burying her face in his shoulder, Emilia and Beau silently excusing themselves to give the two some privacy.

''Nobody nor nothing would have stopped me from loving you John Lennon. Try as they might, they did not and will not break us.'' Josephina pulled away to look him in the eye.