In My Life I Love You More

Chapter Thirty Two

  Whimpering, Josephina leaned against her hospital bed, fingers gripping the mattress as tears prickled her eyes.

She was just so tired.

She'd been in labor for eleven hours.

She was feeling a mixture of intense physical discomfort, fatigue, and emotional exhaustion.

  Running a hand down her face she exhaled, feeling John's hands rub her lower back, his seventh cigarette that evening in his free hand as he puffed away and she grimaced at the smell. Half of her wanted to take the cigarette and throw it out the window while the other half just wanted everyone to leave her alone.

"Mom please, make the pain stop." She whimpered and her mother who sat on the edge of the bed next to her frowned sympathetically.

"I know baby, it'll be over soon. Just remember what you're waiting for. You'll have your beautiful baby boy in your arms in no time," Emilia cooed and spared a glance at John watching him stub his light out only to light up another smoke, "you doing okay John sweetheart?" She asked and he jumped, clearly having zoned out and he looked at his mother in law, the shadows under his own eyes prominent.

"Y-yeah yeah. Just want her to stop suffering ya know?" John kissed Josephina's back, and as he pulled away, two of the nurses on staff came in to check her dilation before listening in for the baby's heartbeat.

Something must have shown on the scan because one nurse quickly sent the other out of the room. Josephina sat up with some difficulty-alarmed, face scrunched in worry as she zoned in on the other woman.

"What? Is there something wrong?" She looked between John and the nurse, her heart rate on the monitor speeding up.

"Mrs Lennon, I've just sent for the doctor, he's going to come to speak to you in a minute. We're just a little concerned about baby's heartbeat.....it's dropping." The nurse said carefully, trying to avoid aggravating the expecting mother.

"Wh-what?" Josephina looked worriedly at John who took her hand tightly in his own.

"Nothing to be worried about yet. You just keep focusing on breathing love." The nurse soothed, picking up her chart and scribbled something down.

Emilia crossed herself and began to quietly pray, holding her rosary in her hands with an iron grip.

  Whimpering, Josephina buried her face in John's neck, before crying out as another contraction hit her, her nails digging into his arms.

"It'll be okay Angel. The nurse isn't worried, and if she's not worried we shouldn't be eh?" John kisses the top of her head, though his own heart was beating faster in his chest.

   Twenty minutes passed and just as John had started yelling at the nurse to "get the bleedin' doctor already", the man of the hour stepped in, looking far too relaxed for John's comfort and his extreme annoyance

"Good night everyone. So, Mrs. Lennon, it appears that you aren't having an easy time," The doctor, an older man with salt and pepper hair smiled kindly down at the laboring woman who nodded miserably, "based on what's happening and your medical history thus far in your pregnancy, I'm afraid we're going to have to do a cesarean section." The doctor gave her a sympathetic look and she paled while John blinked, baffled and somewhat nauseated.

  "You mean, cut her open and take her guts out and shite? Isn't there something else you can do?" He looked positively horrified and Josephina whimpered at his vivid wording and her doctor shared her sentiments as he glared down at John.