In My Life I Love You More

Chapter Sixty-One

Unedited.

Josephina's POV

-December 12th, 1980-

   I stirred the sugar in my coffee, gazing out of the hospital window onto the New York skyline. John was in physical therapy and if my watch was correct, he would be back any minute.

  "Mommy?" My head snapped towards Grayson's bed, seeing a pair of large hazel eyes staring at me sleepily, relived to see me.

  "Hi baby boy....." I walked over to his bed, and reached out to brush his hair out of his eyes, "how're you feeling sweetheart?" I cupped his cheek, his skin soft under my hand as I stroked the skin.

  "Okay I guess- is Dad okay, he-" Grayson stilled suddenly and with an ache in my heart, I knew he had just realized he had no feeling in his legs, "Mom, why can't I move my legs?"

  Grayson looked at me frightened and I squeezed my eyes shut for a moment before I moved closer, touching his shoulder.

  "Sweetheart, we have to talk about something that happened. It's nothing to be afraid of," I started calmly in a vain attempt to control the situation but Grayson threw the sheets off of him, staring down at his legs, "Grayson listen to me-" his forehead scrunched as he obviously tried to move his appendages but with no success at all.

  "Mommy, why can't I feel anything?!" He cried, desperately attempting to move the lower half of his body, "Mommy, what's wrong with me?!" He screamed, pounding his fists against his legs roughly and I grabbed his arms to prevent him from further hurting himself.

  "Grayson you've got to calm down!" I struggled to hold him as he cried and thrashed in my grip.

  "No, no, something's wrong! Mommy, something's wrong!" Grayson screamed, tears pouring down his cheeks and out of the corner of my eye, I saw John making his way in with a walker, a nurse behind him.

"I'll get the doctor!" Her eyes widened upon seeing the scene before her and rushed out of the room.

  "Fuck." I vaguely heard John curse over Grayson's screams and cries as I tried to hold him.

  "Where's Dad? I want Daddy!"

   My heart broke even more. Grayson still called me 'Mommy'  but never when his friends were around, but he hadn't called John 'Daddy' since he was nine. The volume of how terrified he was was audible at this point.

  "Gray, Gray! Love, please calm down," John who had moved faster at our son's cries,  gruntedas Grayson's fist clocked him in the jaw but he continued to hold the child down, "baby, calm down!"

  "Grayson, baby....." I started only to be pushed to the side as Grayson's primary doctor took my place, injecting something into his IV bag, and within moments, Grayson's fighting diminished and he laid back down with our assistance, however the tears continued to flow down his cheeks.

  "That should keep him calm for a few hours, don't hesitate to call if he begins hurting himself again." The nurse explained, and gave Grayson a sympathetic glance, "poor little guy."

   Stepping back over, I sat on the space next to Grayson on his bed, pulling him to my chest and felt his drugged arms weakly clutch at my blouse as he cried onto my chest. Humming, I began to rock him. John came to sit on his other side (Grayson didn't take up much of the bed) and stroked his back, kissing the back of his head, allowing Grayson to grip his hand.

  "It's okay baby, Mommy and Daddy got you. You're going to be okay," I looked upwards, willing my tears to stay at bay.

"Don't you worry kiddo, we'll get through this together." John's words washed over me, bringing a sense of reassurance and calm.