I look at myself in the mirror
Examining the fifth outfit I had tried on
The sixth hairstyle I had done
The seventh cotton of makeup remover ready to go
My lips are too dark and don't get me started on my eyebrows
My shirt is way too baggy
Why do my boobs look fucking saggy
My shoulders are way too broad
It's one of my biggest flaws
I want to look put together
But it all looks like a fraud
The high-waisted jeans doesn't hide my tummy
It just looks too funny
My thighs are way too wide
The stretch marks are impossible to hide
No way will I ever where shorts
That's why I refused to play sports
If only I could be taller
They made fun of me for being smaller
Chubby cheeks that belonged to a chipmunk
I had begun to see myself as a piece of gunk
Going out always scared me
As picking outfits always drained me
If only I wasn't born so ugly
The Mirror
Note: Although I love my dad, I remember how he made fun of my weight in high school. I completely lost it when he made fun of me to make our other family members laugh, and it led me to believe that I needed to be skinny, and resulted me being underweight during my first year of university. When I finally thought I looked "pretty," I was told that I lost too much weight and I looked like a skeleton. I had been made fun of by so many people for such a long time while they pushed the narrative that "oh, she's not one to get upset over little things," or "don't worry, she's a good girl and doesn't get mad," as they continued to make fun of me for more things other than my weight and looks.
Although this is the first time mentioning this, I don't even trust the words of the person I'm dating when they call me beautiful. How could one ever believe they're beautiful and perfect when the people they grew up around always lied about those things?
The idea of being beautiful has become an unfathomable concept that I hope to understand one day.
YOU ARE READING
Life
PoetryA collection of poem's written about events, feelings, thoughts, and emotions. Like a diary to vent out a part of ourselves that no one will every know about; the poems are simply an attempt to capture the most unusual and abstract aspects of the hu...
