Can't Love Christmas

November 1 - 1:54pm

To: Cassiope@gomail.com

From: Ash10@gomail.com

Subject: Candy is the only good part about Halloween

Truth time. I still have not gotten over dreaming of Rowan.

He is perfect on the outside and my brain can't help itself. He dressed up like Maverick for Halloween. You know what that does to me.

Doesn't matter though. He hates me. I'm a tire fire. I think my only solution is to move home. But not home-home. I don't want he-who-deserves-to-be-nut-punched to find me either. With my luck, he'll beat me to my parents house if he found out I was heading back. But I digress.

So, obviously, it was Halloween yesterday. I decided to go to a party. Well, Mr. Dreamy was bartending, and I was just at the right point of tipsy where I was going to go and talk to him. I felt good. I was owning it: I looked good (I wore the pirate costume you left with me. I've got better boots for it now, and I look at least as good as you did in it). I know if I just get to know him a bit better, I'll be able to get unrealistic-him out of my brain.

I was in the middle of re-introducing myself when this girl, wearing nothing more than lingerie and fluffy ears (animal unclear), came between us, wrapped her arms around his neck, and kissed him.

WHAT?!

He just went with it. She was practically climbing him like a koala in a tree. Her tongue was so far down his throat it was a choking hazard.

I stared in horror (pretty sure my jaw dropped open and I was gaping like a fish) as this ... demonstration ... unfolded before me, and I was about to turn away when suddenly, he made eye contact with me.

His tongue was literally tangled with hers, but his eyes were on me. That may have been the most awkward moment of my life. MAYBE tied with Brazil.

Well, I'm not proud to say I got really drunk. Think "horse" drinking game drunk. It was not pretty. And then this guy in a pumpkin suit started hitting on me. Not a pumpkin costume. A suit that was covered in pumpkins. I didn't know Ugly Halloween Suits were a thing. He bragged that it had real gold thread in it. Why would you buy such a ridiculously expensive novelty suit? Halloween is one day. At least an Ugly Christmas suit probably has many event options to make it worthwhile.

But then HE cut me off. Of course it couldn't have been any of the other staff. I mean, he had every right too, I had already had waaaay too much, but he was mean about it and it was the worst end to a night of bad decisions. I never should have gone out.

I think I yelled at him. He didn't yell back (thank goodness. I would have cried), but he bounced me. He literally moved my body outside of the establishment, and called me a cab that he all but pushed me into. Like he could not get rid of me fast enough. I shouldn't have been surprised. He spent most of the night glaring at me. Seems like a bad way to make tips in my opinion, but what do I know? Maybe it works for him here. I don't know why he hates me so much.

I'm sure he and the koala had a much lovelier night than I did. I think I'm dead. I murdered a few too many critical brain cells last night. I've never been as forcefully reminded that I'm not 21 anymore as I was this morning.

I need your magical hangover cure. Or maybe it's just you I need. Everything hurts so much.

A.