Can't Love Christmas

December 28 - 5:46pm

To: Cassiope@gomail.com

From: Ash10@gomail.com

Subject: Sweet relief it's quiet again

Perhaps what I forgot most about my family is how loud they are. The twins are either silent or yelling. There's no middle.

Aren't twins supposed to have their own communication style where they just know what the other is thinking? You'd think that would mean less yelling.

Alas, my eardrums appreciate today's reprieve.

That's the only highlight of my day.

I'm not sure I can ever return to work. Luckily Sadiq had already given me tomorrow off, but he might be wishing for me to be off longer now.

Cass, I don't know how it happened, but it just did. Never in my life did I think it would happen to me.

I had a clean up in aisle 3 incident. One second, the display was where it was supposed to be. The next, I was standing in it's remains. I don't understand how. But it was a mess. Chocolate ensure everywhere.

Which in itself, may not have been so bad.

I righted the rack and found a bin to toss the ruined product in, then grabbed a mop to clean the floor. But I didn't realize not every single bottle had fallen. One had cracked open and while I was mopping I had backed into where it was stuck to the rack, and it spilled all over me.

I'm serious, Cass. It poured down my back, and butt, and a bit of my leg.

I looked like I had shat myself. Explosive diarrhea.

But I didn't know this right away. Once I'd cleaned up the mess (Sadiq was highly forgiving of how much it would cost him), I continued on with my day. It was almost lunch time, so I went next door to grab a bite.

WITH WHAT LOOKED LIKE A SHIT STAIN ALL DOWN MY BACKSIDE.

Thankfully, the lovely lady who told me was very tactful, but I could not be saved from the most embarrassing of all. Rowan saw. I have no idea what he was doing there, but he saw my humiliation. He didn't laugh at me, but I wish he had. Instead he looked at me with disgust and pity.

I'll never have a chance with him after this.

I rushed back to the pharmacy and borrowed an old lab coat for the rest of the day. I walked home wearing a lab coat under my jacket. Every single person I passed looked at me funny.

I nearly perished from embarrassment.

So yeah. I'll be looking for a new job in another city now.