Where Your Loyalties Lie - {Severus Snape x Reader}

-93-

From that day on, every evening after the dinner, Remus and I have been teaching the students Defence Against the Dark Arts in secret in the Room of Requirement. Well, mostly Remus has been teaching. I've been there to help whenever needed as dueling partner. All of this is quite a lot on top of the regular days of work, plus helping the elves around the kitchen time to time, so I've been feeling really tired end of every day. But we need to teach the kids how to defend themselves - if and when the time comes. With the help of Neville, Luna, Cho, Cedric and Vivian we have managed to include a few other students from each year to come and learn with us. Unfortunately, we can't include every single student into this 'club'.

We haveto be very careful who we tell this about, since there are some students who would be quick to run to the Headmaster and tell him everything what we have been up to. And we don't want that. What comes to Headmaster... I've been avoiding him. Quite a lot, actually. Not that he would be wandering around the castle as often as he used to as Potions Master. Remus words has been replaying in my head. What if... What if he really did it against his own will? Not saying he would have been under any curse, but driven by fear, for example? 'I was... Following orders.' Snape's words echoes in my head. Whose orders? Voldemort's? Or... Dumbledore's? No, that's impossible. (Y/N), you are being ridiculous right now. Urgh! I don't know what to believe anymore!

As the days turns into weeks, slowly but surely, the whole Wizarding World gets covered in pure white snow. It's pretty grey day when I come to the garden after the classes are over to place yet another candle to Sniffy's grave. It is now been three months since he died, and I've always made sure to keep the candle alive for him 'to be able to see in the dark' - so to speak. Oh, how much he would have loved to run around and dive in to this snow... Right away, when I arrive there, I see there is a new candle that has been already lit. "Hm?" some steam comes out of my nose as both of my eyebrows raise out of slight surprise. By the looks of it, seems that someone had put it on only couple hours ago. But who..? Not many people know about this place, so I'm a little bit taken aback. A wistful smile appears on my face regardless while watching the candle next to Sniffy's grave. Thank you, whoever you are.

After spending enough time at the grave, I start heading back in the castle. When I get to the front yard, familiar voice calls:"Oh, Professor (Y/L)!". "Hm?" I turn to see him - Horace Slughorn, who's now walking towards me. I'm not entirely sure how, but he got hired to teach the Potions by the Ministry when it became official Snape was going to be the new Headmaster of Hogwarts. All I know he also didn't have much of a choice, but to come here. Like I said it before, they really has us in a choke hold, one way or another. We haven't had too many interactions over these past months, but anytime we happen to run into each other, we always exchange couple pleasant words. When I asked if he remembers me back when I was a student, he told me he indeed remembers me. 'You were so clever girl the first three years, but something happened to your grades towards the end...' Had no desire start telling him the real reason for my grades went drastically down, so I just laughed and blame it on 'just being naive, young teenager'.

Giving the old man polite smile:"Good afternoon, Professor.". He comes stand beside me and we start talking as we are looking at the students around the yard, who are all just hanging around in their long, winter cloaks with their Houses scarfs around their necks. They all look pretty down. And no wonder... The semester isn't even in its half way, and people are already feeling drained. "Things really are not like they used to be." Slughorn suddenly starts. I take a quick glance at him before looking back at the students. "I remember when children used to run around and explore the castle like it was their first day - no matter what age they were." some steam comes out of his mouth as he sighs. "Mmm..." I nod as agreement.