'don't give a fuck' attitude. / tyler joseph | ✓

eight.

I've been up, all night. I just can't sleep. They're abnormally persistent tonight, and I was crippled to it. I was sitting up in bed, my back laid against the hard, cold wall. The loose black fabric of one of Tyler's shirts barely keeping me warm as it was hanging off one of my shoulders. I shuttered as nasty words bounced around the inside of my skull. I felt Tyler's arm move, putting his hand in my lap and resting there. I got up out of bed and snuck out of the room, down the stairs and into the kitchen. I went up to the snack cabinet that Kelly had showed me earlier, grabbing some Ramen Noodles and breaking open the package and grabbing a bowl, pouring it inside, adding water and putting it in the microwave. I leaned against the counter, looking out the kitchen window, which was open and welcoming a cold breeze into the kitchen. I shut my eyes, trying to find any sense of calm that was left in the war that was going on in my head at the moment. The timer on the microwave suddenly went off. I turned around, taking it out of the microwave and setting on the counter, tearing open the foil package and pouring the powder in a stirring it. I stirred, and stirred, until a set of warm arms wrapped around my waist, making me gasp as I jumped.

"What are you doing up?" Tyler's voice whispered as he laid his chin on my shoulder.

"Couldn't sleep," I responded, poising my lips to the side as I frowned, continuing to stir.

"Why?" he asked.

I stayed silent. I didn't want to tell him. He already knew, but I felt weak when I talked about it.

"Quinn."

"The voices."

A tear rolled down my cheek.

"Oh, Quinn. It's okay," Tyler wrapped his arms tighter around me, pulling me into him and leaning his head against mine. "Come on."

Tyler began pulling me by my wrist, out of the kitchen.

"Tyler, let me eat, okay?"

"Just come on, you can come back to it in a minute," he urged, tugging at my wrist. I sighed, letting my feet follow where he was trying to take me.

"Where are we going?" I whispered as he opened the back door to the house, stepping out on to the cold concrete with bare feet.

"Just wait and see," he said, urging me to walk faster as the front to a forest creeped closer.

"No, Tyler. I can't," I stopped, planting my feet to the ground as we stepped into the bundle of trees.

"Quinn, trust me. I'll be right here," he said, squeezing my hand in his as he tugged a little. Wanting for me to follow him. I had just noticed our apparel. I was in an over-sized tee and spandex, he was in basketball shorts and was shirtless.

"Fine," I mumbled before I took my first step into the forest, lightning bugs around us keeping a dim light, illuminating our faces as we looked around. I saw a lantern, looking like it was hanging from a tree. I squinted, trying to see more.

A...tree house?

Is this why he brought me out here? I watched as he looked back at me, taking me to the bottom of the tree that held the treehouse farther up. He let go of my hand, instantly making anxiety arise and my hands instantly coming up to grab on to his upper arm instead.

"You go up first," he told me, putting me in front of him and helping me find the first step, then letting me climb the steps-that I didn't quite trust so much as to holding me up. I finally made it up to the top, climbing inside and looking up, seeing a nice bed-that looked comfortable, to say the least. Tyler's arms tensing as he climbed in. I helped him in, then turned around, consuming the sight that was unfurling in front of me.

It was terrifying.

There were scratches on the wooden walls, done by someone who was in much pain, and distress. The scratches on the wall held his feelings, his secrets. His insecurities and dreads. All held in this safe haven of a tree house.

"Oh my, god," I mumbled. "Tyler, this is you."

I turned around, Tyler sat at the edge of the bed. I joined him, sitting down next to him and bringing my knees to my chest.

"Tyler, this is your pain."

"Now, can you tell me yours?" he whispered, his face near my ear. Seeming as if his small whispers where echoing through the whole forest.

"I'm afraid to let myself in," I told him, a tear sliding down my face as I turned to him. "Because i'm afraid to get hurt, afraid of the voices, every day of my life."

Tyler moved my bangs from my face, looking at me.

"I know."

Then, he kissed me. I closed my eyes as he did. My hands moved to his jaw as he kissed me, and I kissed back. His lips were soft against mine, and I pulled back, looking at him.

"Did that actually happen?" I whispered, a small giggle escaping both of us.

"Yeah, and I don't regret a second of it," he said, bringing his hands to my jaw.

"Me either."

I pulled him in for another kiss, my lips connecting with his with a smile.

And I enjoyed every second.

He moved to my side, wrapping his arms around my body, keeping me close to him. I laid my head on his shoulder, closing my eyes.

Now, i'm farther down in the hole I call my thoughts.

***

Wooow. Butterflies!! *cries because this chapter was adorable*

Also, I entered this story into The Wattys! Cool, huh? *wiggles eyebrow*