'don't give a fuck' attitude. / tyler joseph | ✓

twelve.

I woke up to the irritating sound of my phone going off on the floor next to the bed. Tyler's arm draped over me. Who would be calling me this early? I thought. I leaned down, picking it up off the ground and looking at the caller ID. But as I saw who it was, I found it hard to believe.

"Why would my mom be calling me?" I asked myself quietly as I answered it and put it up to my ear. "Hello?"

"Hey, you have some mail. I'll leave it in the mail box for you, okay hun?" She asked. I opened my mouth to speak but paused for a second.

"Uh, yeah. Thanks, mom," I answered, nodding along to my voice.

"Welcome, love you, bye," she said through the phone as she hung up, sending a sound through the phone as I put my phone on my stomach. I'm just surprised she actually said the L word. I mean, being a heartless bitch and all. It made it hard to believe that someone like her could love someone. Especially her own daughter who she kicked out of the house out of cold blood. I shrugged, letting out a big sigh. Tyler tightened his grip around me as I watched his face turn into an almost mad expression. He opened his eyes suddenly, making me jump slightly. The mad look on his face scared me the most. Until his expression changed and he leaned forward, kissing me quickly. I smiled at him as I got up.

"Hey Ty, can I borrow the car? I need to run to my mom's house," I asked him, looking up at him as I pulled off my shorts and put on some tight skinny jeans. He nodded with a smile, leaning forward to his nightstand, grabbing his keys and throwing them to me. I caught them, shoving them in the back pocket of my jeans as I slipped on some Converse and grabbed a random beanie from Tyler's closet. Pulling it on before I waved at Tyler, walking out of his room and down the stairs and out the door. Thankfully, no one was up yet, just me and Tyler, so I didn't have to explain myself this early in the morning. It was nice outside, catching me by surprise as I took in a big breath through my nose as I got into the car. I started the car, driving down a few blocks to my house. I pulled into the driveway, getting out and walking up to the door. I opened the mailbox and grabbed all the remaining envelopes inside. Looking at the addresses. Not too abnormal, but a good reason to have them nonetheless. I went back to the car, sitting in the driver's seat as I opened them. One first, one from some service thing that used to be with my mom and I. Giving me a check with being emancipated. About two hundred dollars. I put in back in the envelope, picking up the next letter. From my school, saying i'm suspended for all next week for the injuries of the student I punched a few mornings ago. All a fun time, right? The last one was from my doctor. I didn't usually get letters from my doctor, so I got a little anxious. I ripped it open, unfolding the professional looking paper. The jist of it said I was getting cut off of my schizophrenia medicine. My heart started beating faster in my chest as I folded it back up frantically. I pulled out of the driveway, speeding back to Tyler's house. I turned off the car, grabbing the keys and bolting inside with the mail I had already opened clutched in my hand. I ran up to Tyler's room just as the tears started to boil in my eyes. I bolted in.

"Tyler, I-I'm getting cut off of my schizophrenia medicine," I said, my chest heaving as I shut the door behind me. I looked up just as he got up off his mattress. He came over to me, pulled me into his shirtless chest.

"Quinn, calm down, can't you just apply again?" He asked. I shook my head into his chest.

"I can't reapply for another month and a half. I can't handle this for another month, Tyler. I just can't," I shook my head, heaving my chest as I tried to get some steady breaths into my lungs. "They are already bad, and that's with the meds. Without them i'm screwed," I said, shaking my head back and forth. I wrapped my arms around his torso as I finally steadied my breath. I looked up at him as he looked down at me. A silence falling atop of us. I leaned forward, kissing along his jawline. He kissed back, his lips soft and warm against mine.

"I'm sorry, just hold on, for me?" He asked sweetly, taking my chin in his hand as he tilted his head to the side. I didn't answer. Not a single word of reassurance. Because I wasn't sure if I could hold on at all. Because I had this unbearing feeling in my chest wanting me to slip into the same hole I was in when this all started. And since it started, i've been digging the hole deeper, and deeper. My grave. It was my fucking grave. Because if-no, when-I slip, I won't hold on any longer. I wouldn't be able to. I'm not that strong of a person. I never have been, and probably never will be. I wish I was, because it would make everything so much easier. At least more easier than it is now. Because I have to admit to myself. I was lost, in a neverending maze that I call a hopeless excuse of a life. And I was never truly getting out of this. There was only one way out.

***

Hey beans, so, hope you like this chapter. I have another twenty one pilots fic out, on my account. Please check it out. Here's a link: http://w.tt/1HvJXT1. It's called Dying Days. It's very personal and I love it a lot. Thanks for reading. Stay alive, friends. |-/