Bound by Fate | [✓]

19. Hello Darling.

I'm finally going home.
Finally after eight years of suffering, pain and depression.

Suffering that led me to give up on every hope, every dream and every happiness I ever had.

Suffering that turned me into a cold, heartless and doubtful person.

Suffering that made me break the contact with my known world and wander somewhere I have never been before.

.

I remember the time Atharva said 'Yes' when I asked him if I was just a bet.
I was dead. I was dead on the spot. The loving, caring and hopeful girl I was...dead.

Darsh's words turned my heart into the glass and Atharva's answer hammered on it.

The clashing sound of my broken heart was too big for my ears that I barely understood what happened after that.

I ran.
I ran in a car and went for the railway station. I didn't know anything or anyone who could help me in the city but...

But I climbed up a random train to Mumbai and called Papa from a stranger's phone.
He paid for the tickets and also waited for me at the station when I finally reached the Mumbai after seven hours of crying in the train.

.

By the time I reach home, Atharva has called at my home for twenty one time asking if I reached home.

Abhi has called seventeen times for my inquiry and Amara was still trying to call me even after now.

.

But that was it.
I left my broken heart in that cottage. I left my broken heart in that dust. I left my heart in that blood and fight.

I was never going to look back and I never did.
I never looked back at the boy who used me for fun and won me as a bet.

.

In three months,
I flew to Rome, leaving everything behind.
Maa, Papa, friends, Abhi and Atharva Roy...

.

I loved him.
Maybe I still do.

Maybe I still want to run in his arms and feel his warmth.

Maybe I still want to kiss his lips and make him blush.

Maybe I still want to hold his hand and talk about arts.

Maybe I still want to play a game of guessing and laugh every time he guess it right.

Maybe I still want to eat 'Imli' and spicy food in front of him knowing how much he hate it.

.

But it was in the past.
What I want doesn't matter.
I cannot crush my self-respect just to feed my love.

.

I was seeing a therapist for two years after my break up with Atharva.
I had to.

I used to wake up crying and screaming Atharva's name.
I used to doze off in my art class.
I used to scratch my own skin because the anxiety was too much to handle.