When Taehyung called me yesterday saying he wanted to learn how to make kimchi and asked me if he could come over today for it, I expected him to come alone. Lisa had taken the kids to see her new workplace so I was on my own since the morning. I made him breakfast as well. Now, he brought his girlfriend with him. Not that I am upset about it. To be honest, I am glad. Yes. I am glad.
While Tae finished eating, I took out the two large bowls I bought last night from the store just to make kimchi. I even brought a few air-tight containers to store the kimchi in.
"Is there anything I can help you with?" Hailey comes up to me. "I am not a good cook but I would love to learn."
"Can you cut vegetables?" She nods her head so I hand her a knife and an apron. She puts the apron on and ties her hair up into a messy, yet perfect bun. "Cut this cabbage into small chunks." She takes a cabbage from the bag that Tae brought and washes it before cutting it carefully into pieces. While she was at it, I started peeling the carrots and chopped them into long thin strips.
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Tae finishes eating and joins us in the kitchen. He takes another knife and starts cutting the cabbages with Hailey. I watch the way he looks at her, making sure she is careful with the knife, the love in his eyes. I can't help but remember when he looked at me with those eyes. I can't help but wonder what life would be like if I had run away with him when he asked me. If I did, he would be looking at me with those eyes, not her.
Once all the cabbage was cut I washed it well and then shower it with salt.
"Isn't that too much salt?" Taehyung asks with a worried look on his face. I shook my head. Once I throw half of the salt in there and let it sit.
"We should soak the cabbage in salt until it's soft. Until then, we should make the paste." I take a cup of rice flour mix it with water and keep the pot on the stove. "Continuously stir it to prevent it from lumping until it's a sticky paste." Both of them nod, letting me know that they understand. Once the paste was of a nice consistency I took it off the stove. I hand the bowl to Taehyung and ask him to stir it while I grab the gochugaru.
Into the blender, I added onions, garlic, and ginger along with the chili flakes and blended it all into a paste.
"Taehyung could you add a bit of that paste into this." He takes a spoonful and adds it to the blender. We continue this until it's blended into a smooth paste. "This should be the consistency." I lift the spoon above the blender and let the paste drip off it to show them what it should look like. I transfer the paste onto a separate bowl and move on to draining the cabbages.
Once everything was ready to be mixed into one, I added the cabbages into the two large bowls and gave them one.
"Follow me okay?" They nodded and did exactly as I did. First, add the chopped carrots into the cabbage along with chopped spring onions to which we add the chili paste we made earlier. "Now mix."
"Don't touch. I will mix it." Taehyung tells Hailey as he rolls up his sleeves and starts mixing the kimchi. I watch as his veins slowly appear as he applies more pressure. "Is this enough?" He asks me after a while.
"What?"?
"Is this mixed enough?" I look at the bowl and it looks right so I nod. "Taste test." He takes a piece of cabbage and tries it. His face lights up as the flavors kick in. He takes another piece of cabbage and asks Hailey to open her mouth. With hesitation, she tasted it and even though it was spicier than she liked, she did seem to be happy with the delicacy in her mouth.
"And that is how you make kimchi, Lisa's way." Until they packed the kimchi into the airtight jars, I made my batch of kimchi.
"Thank you, Jennie." Hailey came up to me while Taehyung packed the jars. "You have no idea how long he has been crying about eating a good batch of Kimchi. I can now finally make it at home with him."
"No worries." I switch the TV on and let them chill in the living room while I clean the kitchen. Taehyung joins me after a while to help out. I told him it wasn't necessary but he insisted and I didn't want him to leave either so I let him stay.
"Where is Abby?"
"With Lisa. They went to check her new workplace."
"She looks so much like you that it hurts." I look at him confused by his statement. "Don't think much about it. Anyway, Hailey and I were thinking about getting dinner. Wanna join?"
"And thirdwheel? No, thank you."
"You wouldn't have to third wheel if you had-" I looked at him before he finished the sentence, knowing clearly what he was about to say.
"You don't have to remind me what life would have been like if I hadn't said no that night. I can see it very well, but it's okay. I am happy with my life and you seem very happy with yours. So please stop." I make sure to whisper this so that his girlfriend who is seated on my couch just a few meters away wouldn't hear.
"Hailey, let's go." Taehyung grabs the jars of kimchi and heads out without even looking at me. Hailey who was confused looked at me for a second and thanked me for the food before following him out.
I don't understand why he is pissed at me for. He was the one who brought his perfect little girlfriend into my apartment and then reminded me of what life would have been like if we were together. Was that why he brought her here? To stab me in the heart? Besides, why does it feel like a stab? I don't even love him anymore. It's so annoying at this point that I start to regret everything.
I regret going to that gallery.
I regret moving to Australia.
I regret taking Liam to the park that night.
I regret going to that library many years ago.
I regret...
I regret, not saying yes to him at the beach that night...
