Scott Pilgrim's "Precious" Little Life x Male Reader

The First Evil Ex

Ramona: Um... Scott Pilgrim?

Scott: Do you wanna go out sometime? Do you — I think we should date.

Ramona: Um... No, that's okay. You just have to sign for this, alright?

Scott: Hey, look... I just woke up, and you were in my dream. I dreamed you were delivering me this package. Is that weird?

Ramona: Oh, God... Oh, man, now I recognize you.

Scott gets nervous trying to play it off.

Scott: Um... No! Wait! You don't... I'm not crazy, If that's what you're getting at.

Ramona taps her pen against her mouth.

Ramona: No, No, It's... It's just, like, this really convenient subspace highway happens to go through your head. It's like three miles in fifteen seconds, and through your—

Scott: Hold on, what? Subspace? Highway?

Ramona: Yeah... What? Huh?

Scott: You're...talking crazy talk?

Ramona: Is this something they don't teach in Canadian Schools?

Scott: Can you elaborate?

Ramona: It's like...Rapid transit? Subspace Highways?

Scott: Is it like Super Mario 2?

Ramona just silently stares at Scott not knowing what he's referencing.

Ramona: Ummmmmm... No. It isn't really like that at all.

Scott: Oh... Okay.

Ramona: You guys probably just don't know about them in Canada. I was wondering why they were always empty up here.

Scott: So... Um, I guess you're American?

Ramona: Yeah...? Why, am I coming off as rude, or something like that?

Scott: You don't remember me, do you? We, um, we met at that party the other day. Ramona Flowers, right?

Ramona is embarrassed, now remembering Scott from the party.

Ramona: Oh my god... You asked me about— I just thought you were crazy! I'm so sorry!

Scott: No, it's cool. That's okay. I get that a lot.

Ramona: You really have to sign for this though.

Scott: But if I sign for it, you'll leave!

Ramona: Well, yeah... I have a job, see? I'm on the clock?

Scott: Can we go out sometime? Or I mean, I mean... Can we just hang out? Can we get to know each other? You're new in town, right? I've lived here forever— I mean— I mean... There are... Reasons... For you to hang out with me?

Ramona: You're all over the place.

Scott: But I'm so sincere!

Ramona: Sincerely lame, maybe.

Scott: Your thingy goes through my head, right? You rollerblade through my head on your way to deliver stuff. So that's why I'm obsessed.

Scott realizes what he's said and tries playing it off.

Scott: Wait... Let's pretend I didn't say obsessed.

Ramona checks her watch.

Ramona: You're totally obsessed, aren't you? I need to find a new route.

Scott: Either that, or you need to start hanging out with me.

Ramona: You want me to hang out with you?