Every Part Of Us

37. Therapy

Reid pov:

My house had somehow become like a foreign land. I didn't know how I was supposed to act, I didn't know how to face Ronan. We barely talked since I got back.

This time it wasn't because of my brother. I'd been avoiding him just as much as he was avoiding me.

There was no sand I could sink into and hide away anymore. I'd been forced to face some realities of my childhood I'd blocked out for years. The nights Ronan would tell me to go to my room and lock the door. All the times Ronan would take the blame for my mistakes. There was no place I could hide from those truths and what that meant for Ronan.

He'd placed himself between our father and me so many times I couldn't help but picture those scars and wonder how many were meant to be on my own back.

All the years I'd hated Ro because he was too closed off or didn't care. The constant arguments that would happen whenever I mentioned our dad.

I hated myself for all of it. I hated myself for never being able to see just how much he was struggling.

I couldn't face him, I couldn't even begin to come up with words to make things right. I'd wasted years being angry and hating Ronan. I'd let our relationship deteriorate in front of my eyes instead of seeing all the signs that he was actually struggling.

"If you're going to hide out here at least wear a jacket." Tiffany sat down next to me dropping one of my hoodies in my lap.

I'd been sitting out on the front porch hiding from Ronan. I didn't know how long I'd been out here but it was obviously enough time for Tiff to come check on me.

"Why didn't you ever tell me?" I questioned.

Tiffany had been by my brother's side for years. Most of my life I'd watched the two of them move in sync. Tiff knew everything that Ronan had kept locked up behind those walls of his.

"I spent a long time trying to get through the walls Ro puts up. I knocked them down one brick at a time. It took a lot for him to let me in and trust me fully. I couldn't do something that would break that trust. Everything that happened between Ro and your father, that was his story to tell and his decision when to tell it."

"I just don't get why he never trusted me enough to let me in." I frowned.

I knew growing up he'd been trying to protect me but now I wasn't a kid anymore. My father had been out of our lives for years. Things had changed and I thought maybe during these past few years I earned some of that trust and honest from Ronan.

"Maybe you should ask him." She offered.

Asking him would require actually talking to him and I hadn't quite figured out how to do that. It'd been too long since we were close. I'd forgotten what that felt like, what it was like to just be able to talk to my brother.

"I don't know how."

"It's whenever you're ready, he's here and he's trying." She reached out squeezing my hand.

I knew Ronan had been trying more recently. He was reserved and serious in the way I was used to him being but Tiffany continued to push him out of that shell. She'd always been good for him, she brought out a side of my brother I never saw when she wasn't around.

"Thank you Tiff, he is really lucky to have you." I didn't know what I'd do without Tiff around.

Even when she left she was always here trying to help in all the ways she could.

"I think I'm the lucky one because I got the both of you."

"I guess you were a pretty good mom." I nudged her shoulder lightly.

"Pretty good? Wow no need to hype a girl up." She teased.

"You know I love you."

"And I love you so much more." She ruffled my hair like I was a little kid again and stood up to head back inside.

I had my family back. The two people that had raised me to be who I was today. I had them to thank for everything and it was time to show that gratitude.

I could put these past few years behind us and just focus on what came next. The future that I hoped was better for all of us.

I followed Tiffany inside to find her sat with Ronan on the couch. It's been a long time since I'd seen them like this. Tiffany leaning into Ronan's side a soft smile on her face.

I felt my mind blank out. What was I supposed to say to him? How was I supposed to talk to my brother? I felt like I'd forgotten all the words I could say. My brain had finally stopped working.

"Are you working tomorrow?" Ronan asked turning to look at me.

"I get out at 4." I answered.

"I have therapy at 5 and was wondering if you would want to come with me?" He asked.

I just blinked. I hadn't even known that Ronan had started going back to therapy. I was guessing that was probably thanks to Tiffany.

"I, Uh- yeah sure," I stumbled through my words.

This was what I needed, what we both needed. I was clueless on what to say when it came to Ronan and I knew there was still so much we still had to work through.

Ronan had layers and layers of walls and I'd only just cracked the surface. But this was an olive branch, this was him showing me he was going to try to fix this. I had to meet him halfway and try just as much to repair our relationship.

I wanted my brother back and maybe this therapy appointment would be a good start at getting that.

A/n:

Soooo I disappeared again.....

I don't want to sit here and make a ton of excuses but I am trying and I'm still here writing and working on this book. I love these characters and I want to finish this. I just have been struggling a lot with my own mental health and I've been focusing on trying to work through that the best I can.

I appreciate you all so much and I thank you for the patience and kindness I've gotten.

Hope you all enjoyed this chapter!

-Cora Leigh