Teach Me How To Love [mxmxm]

XXIX

[Third Person]

The only thought running through Jae's mind at the moment was, I think I'm addicted.

It had been just a little over a week since he had been released from the hospital and ever since he had been discharged, he had seen Qi and Xunan more than anyone else. It was sad, really. But somehow, knowing that he was occupying their days, their attention fully on solely him, made his heart tighten. It was somewhat of an ego boost. But Jae would never admit that to them—they didn't need to know that.

"Hey, we stopped by that chicken place. We'll be there in fifteen if we can get a ride," Xunan's voice sounded through Jae's phone speaker. "Hey don't forget, we have to look for the red light on the orange cars with that little box thing on top of their car."

"I know. I know already."

Jae muffled his laugh behind his hand. How funny was it that two men who spoke not even an inkling of korean were trying to hail a taxi?

The sound of passing cars and idle chatter in the background made Jae miss the outside. He had been cooped up inside Yun's flat ever since he made it back from the hospital. The only thing keeping him from losing his mind was doing origami.

It was something that he and Jae-yeong had always done together when he was sick and couldn't go outside which was quiet often. Jae could remember those days. No matter how sickly Jae-yeong looked, his hands always crafted the most beautiful origami out of the two of them. Jae always lost to him.

But now, he could relive those moments when he tried making origami with Qi and Xunan. Although they were bad, it reminded him of himself, always making a mistake, a wrong fold, in the middle of the craft.

They kept his mind quiet and gave his hands something to do. It was a better escape than being sent on missions that were a silent reminder of his worthlessness as a human.

"Still there, Jae?" This time, Qi's voice interrupted his thoughts.

Jae hummed in response. "Yeah."

"What are you making this time?" They always knew he was making origami if not preoccupied with them.

"Dragon," came Jae's short answer, his focus on the intricate folds in the spine of the dragon.

"Yeah? What color did you make it?"

"It's green."

"That dark green paper that you had?" Qi received a small hum for a yes and he chuckled, loving the Jae that always became so absorbed in his origami. "Did you want us to get you some more? You've only got a handful of sheets left."

Jae shook his head but only after a quick call of his name from Qi did he realize they couldn't see him shaking his head. "No, I want to go and pick out my paper. There's this stationery store that I get it from."

The other side of the phone was silent for a moment. "Are you sure you're ready to go out now?"

His brows furrowed at that. "What does that mean?"

"Your wounds still haven't healed very much and..."

"They're fine." Jae's clipped tone quieted the other men over the phone.

The silence was deafening. Figuring that the conversation was over—well he didn't really want to discuss it anymore—Jae hung up the phone without saying bye. The quiet left behind from the end of the call filled the room.

Jae knew that it wasn't exactly wise of him to venture outside while he was still healing—his experience already taught him that well enough—but it was starting to get suffocating staying inside the confines of the apartment. The flat was by no means small but waking up every day to the same walls, just to walk around the same halls and go about the same routine was making him claustrophobic. It was like a robot going about and doing the same thing every day with no break.