Teach Me How To Love [mxmxm]

I

[Jae Lim]

I glared at the wall next to me, refusing to look at the two men in front of me. Qi was towering over me with his arms crossed, frown so deep they'd form permanent wrinkles in five years. Xunan was sitting in a leather chair that sat in front of a wooden desk, laid back, grinning. The bastard was amused at my little predicament and I wanted to smack him across the face.

While I sat still on the couch, the other two towering walls blocked the exit to the room, inadvertently forcing me to stay right where I was.

"What do you want?" I growled out at them, annoyed that they woke me up and now wouldn't even let me leave.

Qi's eyes twitched and I got giddy knowing I was pushing every single one of his buttons. "What were you doing in here?"

"You woke me up. What do you think I was doing?"

Qi tilted his head and raised a single brow, giving me a look with his eyes that asked me really? "You used to work for another mafia that just tried to assassinate our leader, what do you expect?"

Heat rushed to my head and for a moment, I forgot that I was supposed to be pissing them off, not letting myself get mad. "It was a job, what did you want me to do? You of all people should know that I can't just refuse an order from the head of the family. Come on now, use that big head of yours and think a little."

He didn't say anything back, and to my pleasant surprise, his clenched jaw didn't open and speak again. There was nothing better than getting them quiet. Figuring the conversation was over, I got up, pushed past the two men, and left the room to go eat my anger away since I wasn't trusted enough to do it any other way. I could feel the stares that followed me as I grabbed a plate and piled it high. Their stares made my skin itch and I wanted to lash out, but it would be stupid to cause a ruckus in unknown territory where I was being held as honorary prisoner.

Slinking back to the empty hall where I had my first few plates, I finally allowed myself to enjoy the food as I shoved spoonful after spoonful into my mouth.

"How's the food?" I choked on my food, unsuspecting of the person who stood to my side just outside the hall.

Jihoon extended a cup of water out and I grabbed it with appreciation, downing it so I could breathe again.

"Better if I didn't just choke on it and have to miss out on like three spoons of food."

"Wouldn't have choked if you actually chewed your food before swallowing," Jihoon poked at me, seating himself in front of me. "What's got you so worked up?"

"Nofing's gomme worked up," I spoke through a full mouth. Jihoon curled his lip in distaste.

"You're shoving food in your mouth faster than when you were eating at the food court and your spoon is bent in half, Jae."

"Well, it's not your problem, is it?" I growled right back at him. "I don't know why you're trying so hard to be involved with me or whatever this shit is, but it's a lost fucking cause."

I stood up and threw away my plate, deciding to ignore Jihoon's reminder to "behave" tonight, and stomped my way up the stairs until I reached my room, locking the door behind me before dropping onto the bed.

I fucking hate it here. That fucking Jihoon thinking I'm some kind of charity case. He's only like a year or something older than me and is trying to act like some kind of doting mother. What fucking bullshit. They'll get tired of my shitty attitude and just send me off—send me back to Korea where I belong.

I dug my crescents into my forearm, using the pain to ground myself from getting in too deep. That didn't belong here. Those fleeting emotions belonged locked away and pushed to the back of my mind. They served no purpose besides taking up space.