Until The Last Day

Chapter 12

Bella P.O.V

Alice sat on the bench at the backyard pulling me to sit next to her. "So, what exactly are you doing? Are you refusing yourself from being with him?"

I smiled. "Alice, I want to be with Edward. All these years I've been dreaming of the day he'll come back..."

"But?" She asked.

"But if I want to be with him I need to be sure he wants to be with me," I say. "That's why I'm gonna act like he's not here."

Alice frowns. "You're gonna act like he doesn't affect you? My Lady, perhaps you weren't mentally there a moment ago but it looks like even his stare has full control over you, how are you trying to pull that off?" She asked.

Alice was right. Even when Edward laid his beautiful piercing green eyes on me was enough for my body to stop functioning correctly and for my brain to stop working. Perhaps Edward does have fully control over me but it's up to me to decided at what level. I need to see how much does Edward wants me back, I need to see if he's willing to try and make me fall for him again, even when that loves has never changed.

"I'll make him believe," I say. "I'll make Edward believe that I no longer love him and see if he's willing to do whatever it takes to win me back."

Alice smirks and says, "You can try, my Lady, but I was in there and I could feel the tension between you two. Even if you try your brain and body knows what it wants and it's obvious Edward wants it, too."

At the beginning I couldn't understand what exactly Alice was trying to say. There was tension but I didn't know Edward was tensed, he seemed really comfortable with the situation. His words at the ball come back, If I were him I wouldn't let you out of my sight not even for a second. And certainly not out of our bedroom. Did Alice mean... Sexual tension? I've never experienced any type of interaction with a man, I've never felt that feeling of desire Emmett's eyes express every time he sees Rosalie. I suddenly wonder how would it be like to feel desire towards someone, do I feel it towards Edward? Does he feel it for me?

"You don't think that might be the reason Edward wants me back, right?" I asked Alice. Fear of Edward only wanting me back for my body takes over, even if I try to deny it I know deep down I want Edward to want me for more than that and that I want to spend the rest of my life in his arms.

Alice shook her head. "He's a man, my Lady. Men... They have their needs but that doesn't make them different from us, does it? They love and feel just as much as we do. He loves you, and if he does of course he's gonna feel desire towards you. That's the whole package."

Perhaps Edward can feel desire for me but I'm not sure what it feels like to desire someone. Do I desire Edward? What are the signs of desire?

"Well... That doesn't change a thing, Alice. I'm gonna do this and I'm gonna do it right," I said.

Alice smirked she thought I wouldn't be capable of doing but I was, I was going to do it. No matter how much j wanted to be with Edward, no matter what Alice says I was going to pull this off and I was, hopefully, going to win.

Alice spent the day with me in my room, locked and away from Edward. I hated that with him being here prevented me from moving around my home freely. Alice and I spent our time talking, talking about her mostly. The only thing there was to talk about me had already been talked so she told me about her married life and how she and Jasper are trying to have a baby.

I was happy for her, she found her prince charming and living in her own fairy tale. I would love to have the same thing she has with Jasper. She told me about how impatient Jasper was to have a baby, she said he was the one who brought the subject up and offered to start trying.