Seasons

Before We Go

Michelle's POV:

"It's D-Day tomorrow." Fabienne said. She was resting on the couch because we have a minute break before we have our lunch. She was staring at the ceiling, and by the looks of her face, I could sense the happiness, the feeling of being homesick, and the sadness because it's almost time for us to part ways.
 
"I know." I paused and turned off my phone after sending a message to my broadcast channel. "It was a great two weeks."
 
"Too many happenings in the past two weeks, especially to you. If I were you, I would lose my mind. Imagine representing a pageant-loving country, and a lot of them were probably hoping for you to bring back the glory. That must be too hard. Not to mention that there is a very, very, very mind-blowing situation you are facing." Fabienne said.
 
I sighed. I do agree. There's a lot of pressure and emotions that are almost flashing on me. It's blinding sometimes. But I must remind myself that the MMD I know is the MMD who is the most graceful under pressure.
 
What's the purpose of my tagline, #DeePaTapos, if I'll let my fears take over? I waited for a year, and the Filipinos deserve the best.
 
"Are you nervous?" Fabienne asked, rubbing her hands on her lap. I've never seen her this serious. It has probably sunk in already that this is getting real.
 
"Well, a bit, of course, but I am handling it well. I am sure. The feeling I am waiting for whenever I compete, it's here," I mentioned, opening up about that sudden nostalgia I always feel whenever I am competing—the anticipation, the excitement, and the waves of thoughts.
 
"I know you'll tease me, but I'll definitely miss you and the girls." Fabienne genuinely said, not trying to hide the vulnerability she was feeling.
 
"Why would I tease you? I feel the same, Fab. That's for sure. I am so lucky to have found a buddy and soul sister here." I responded.
 
Fabienne pouted, trying to stop herself from crying. I just laughed at her. She obviously sees this friendship as something she can cherish, even if we're miles apart.
 
"I want to unpack our things. Let's not leave!" she exclaimed and pretended to unzip her luggage.
 
"Silly, this place is traumatizing. I miss my home." I confessed.
 
"I do agree that this place is, you know? But I want to know why it is traumatizing to you."
 
I just stared at her, trying to see if she knew me well just by eye contact. Her lips started to form a grin. "Agreed."
 
"Too good at reading people, huh?"
 
"I am not. I just know that we have the same reason we can think of." she said, as if she were giving me a second motion of what I just sent her through telepathy.
 
"But I heard that you will be heading to Mexico right after the competition."
 
I nodded as if I weren't interested. "The only detail I know for now is that the target touchdown time is around 3 a.m., right after the coronation night."
 
"What if you won?"
 
That sent shivers down my spine. I've been trying not to hype myself by imagining that scenario. I always believe that it is not won until it's won. I may be positive that I'll do well, and I will make sure to give more than my hundred percent to make my people proud, but envisioning that moment is not my thing.

"Then, I would thank the heav--"
 
"Are you for real?"
 
"What?" I confusedly asked.
 
"I mean, that is given! What I'm asking is, what are your plans if you win? Are you still heading to Mexico?" Fabienne cleared out.
 
Ay, malay ko ba?
 
"I don't know. It wasn't clear. No further details were announced by the organization."
 
"Do you... do you realize that if ever Ann was chosen to be one of the seven candidates too, then you can have her again, without any dark holes trying to ruin your happiness?"
 
I stayed silent as I stared at nothing. I mean, I do love the thought of being with her and us, bustling around the wonderful cities of Mexico. That would make me really happy. But she already said before that if she doesn't win, she'll immediately head to Turkey before she comes back home.
 
So, again, it's hard to imagine.
 
Rather than answering Fabienne's question, a different question suddenly popped into my mind.
 
"Fab, do you still believe in the courtship culture?"
 
I saw how her eyes widened as she shot her teasing but surprised look at me. "Oh my..?"
 
"Why?" I innocently asked.
 
"Don't tell me...?"
 
I smiled at the thought. I mean, if I don't win the crown, I can start trying to win the love and trust of the woman I love. Officially.
 
If I do win, then I'd have to wait till my reign ends and just hope that she will always be there to wait for me, and vice versa, if ever Anntonia wins instead of me.
 
But setting aside whatever the result will be, I know what I want for the two of us. I can only assume that she wants it too, and if she's not ready for that level of depth, we can always wait.
 
Never say never, right?
 
But I don't want to tell Fab that I was planning it. The first person to ever know about this must be Anntonia alone.
 
"I was just curious."
 
"Michelle! Say it! Do you have plans?"
 
Damn. Why did I never think that she would be too pushy out of curiosity? I actually forgot that Fab is also a gossip girl.
 
"We'll get there, Fab. Calm down."
 
"So, no for now?"
 
"What are your thoughts about that? I want to hear." I said to dodge her question.
 
"I wanna know yours first."
 
"Well, in Tagalog, we call it the ligaw culture, and it's always a main dish for every discussion." I started. I can say that Fabienne was attentively listening to what I was saying. "For sure, I do believe that courtship is still important. I don't even have to explain why. I just want to, you know? Make the girl I love feel like.. I don't know. Why did I become speechless all of a sudden?"
 
Fabienne looked at me lovingly, like she was getting why I couldn't seem to find the right words for what I wanted to say.
 
"I get it. You feel it, but you can't say it." Fabienne said, emphasizing the words. "It's always your trait. You feel a lot, but you talk about it rarely. I know Anntonia would agree."
 
"She saw that side of me already a few years ago," I responded, remembering the time when we were in Boracay.
 
"What year was that again?"
 
"2019." I said with so many emotions that suddenly arose in me. I don't know why I treat that year so importantly.
 
"Wow, you guys have known each other for almost four years already?" Fabienne asked, looking so interested in knowing more about how we met.
 
"Well, yeah." I shyly said. 
 
"Isn't it the same year she won as Miss Supra and you represented your country in Miss World. I mean, wow?"
 
"I didn't know you knew a lot?" I curiously asked. I never mentioned those things to her, but she knew them.
 
"I was a pageant fan before I became a candidate, okay? And... I was connecting the dots. Let's say that I just stumbled upon your biographies online, hehe." Fabienne explained. I nodded and let her continue.
 
"So what I was saying is... it's cute, don't you think? The fate is fating."
 
"That's so random, Fab."
 
"I call it destiny." Fabienne said, wiggling her eyebrows as she continued to tease me. I just shake her head, trying to keep myself from smiling.
 
Speaking of destiny.
 
"Excuse me. Your phone is ringing." I informed Fab and slightly pushed her phone forward. She just made a face and pushed it back towards me.
 
"You know well why my phone rings at this time. The call is not for me."
 
"What if it's yours?"
 
"Just answer it, girl! It's Ann for sure, okay?"
 
"Thank you."
 
I took Fab's phone and answered the call right away. The screen was loading for a bit before the face of Miss Laos appeared.

"Fa---"

"Chill! She's here!" Miss Laos said and showed Anntonia on the screen. I smiled at the view. She was facing the mirror and she's tapping her face. She probably just finished retouching her make-up.

"Who's that?"

"Just get here."

Not long enough, she was now facing me.
"Who-- Hi!!!"

"Hi!" I responded with the same energy.

"I'll leave you two. Bye!" Miss Laos said and left the screen. So, I can only see Anntonia now.

"Hey, Dee." She said using her baby voice.

God, I'm melting. She naturally has her deep voice but I never thought that it would be too lovely for me to hear how she purposely changes her voice into tinier one.

"Hey there! How was the big baby?"

"Tired."

"Go get your lunch na po so you could rest without being hungry too."

Anntonia moved a bit from the screen to hide her face but I already caught her smiling. She knows that words. She likes it whenever I'm being polite.

"We'll do later." She came back completely to the screen so I am now seeing her whole face again. "Missing you."

I stared at her lovingly throught the screen. I admit that this situation is kinda hard because I was used to having the freedom to go near her without any restrictions, and so is she. But we have no other choice but to stay like this for the meantime.

"Few more wait."

Right. Few more wait. Good things happen to those who are willing to wait.

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A/N:
Too drained sa iskul huhu will be resting for a while then let's see if ganahan na ulit later :)

Missing PorDee hours na naman huhu