Seasons

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Anntonia's POV:

Everyone is in a rush as the show is about to start a few hours from now. Some are practicing, some are being styled by MUBA, and some are just singing along with the music that was playing to kill the nervousness.
 

Me? I was not in the mood. I don't feel like I'm in the competitive state that I usually have whenever I compete. 
 

I am so grateful for these two. Miss Laos and Miss Indonesia have been sitting beside me to accompany me since this morning. They noticed that I was not in the mood, so they just chose to be with me but rarely talked to me.
 

"Excuse me. I'll just use the comfort room." I excused myself from the two. I noticed how they shared glances.
 

What's up?
 

"I can't leave. Miss Curacao's belongings are here." Miss Laos said.
 

"Don't worry. I can manage."
 

"No--"
"I'm going with you!" The two said in unison. I looked at them confusedly but shrugged it off because I really had to go to the comfort room.
 

"Are you coming with me?" I asked, looking at Fabienne.
 

"Yes, Fab! Join her!" Miss Laos said, pushing Fabienne's arm.
 

Fabienne immediately stood up and went beside me to walk with me. There's a bit of distance going to the comfort room, so we really had to walk together for a bit longer.
 

We saw the other delegates, and we greeted them so that they wouldn't think that we were snobs. After a while, we reached the comfort room. Fab went straight to the toilet, and I just stood here in front of the mirror, trying to figure everything out.

Everything's not working for me. I should be focused and determined now, but I feel absolutely nothing. I'm so messed up.
 

I literally just stood there and stared at my reflection, waiting for someone to bring me back to reality because I torture myself into thinking that I would not do well now.
 

"Ann?" 
 

I turned to look at Fabienne, who was already standing beside me. She was looking at the mirror, but she was looking at me through the mirror. I just smiled a little as a response and waited for her to finish washing her hands.
 

"You did nothing?"
 

"No. I was doing something important."
 

"Like...?"
 

I wanted to ignore her, so I tried to find my lippies in my pouch and apply them to my lips, but I initially had a thought of responding to her. "Saboting myself."
 

She faced me with so much curiosity and confusion, but I just ignored her completely this time. I opened the door and started walking to come back to the venue. I can hear Fabienne's heels, so I am sure she's just following.
 

Right when we were on our way back, I suddenly saw something I shouldn't have.
 

Miss India was here in the hallway close to the backstage, and she was massaging Michelle's shoulders.
 

I should not be affected. But how could I if Michelle is looking so happy and I can even hear her laugh from here? She was even tapping Miss India's hand to tell her where she should massage her. 
 

It pisses me off, and I look like a loser here. Just standing and staring at them.
 

I have had enough. Filipino women are so...