Levi X Reader // New Trainee(R18) // Lemon

Promises

I felt my body tense up when I heard that Levi would be leaving so soon for a mission. I wanted to throw the kettle of tea, cry, scream, punch a wall, and run to my bed to hide. I wanted to so badly, but I'm barely in the scouts as is. I held my resolve and swallowed my emotions. Levi looked cold, accepting his orders, but I could see the slightest glimmer of anger in his eyes though.
I waited to hear everything completely. Luckily, it didn't last too long as orders were given to Levi and for me to finalize the formation plan I prepared. Finally, everyone left and it was just Levi and I again.
He stayed silent on the couch, sipping his black tea and staring at the wall. He closed his eyes and sighed.
"Are you gonna say anything yet, or are you just going to keep waiting for me?" He asked me coldly. I didn't know what to say as I stayed quiet for a moment and looked away from him, trying to avoid the reality of the situation. I knew it wouldn't do me any good though, and Levi seemed to know so he changed his tactic. He patted the side of the couch next to him, telling me to sit next to him. I listened to his silent command and sat next to him in silence for a moment.
"You know, I have to do this. I can't give up on humanity," he explained.
"I know. I don't expect to you to. It's just, scary. Even with how amazing you are," I explained as the tears started to flow. I felt pathetic when he suddenly put his hand on my face, looking at me with widened eyes as he wiped away my tears.
"I promise, I will return to you. Trust me, nothing will stop me from coming back to you. To our family. Promise me that you will keep your trust in me," he told me with such seriousness I felt taken aback. He placed his hand on my stomach when he mentioned our family and I held it there. I took a deep breath and kissed him for a moment and let his lips go.
"I promise. So come back for me when the time comes. I'll make sure I always put the best plans in place to save as many lives as possible," I replied. He nodded in agreeance as we held each other for a while. My tears didn't stop flowing and I eventually fell asleep while he held me sweetly. I told myself it hormones for how emotional I was.
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Our first week married was filled with a somber mood. We spent the days with Levi training his squad and me in HQ, finalizing the scout plan. In the nights, we cooked and ate together. We were able to sleep peacefully in the sleep without fear of someone opening the door to see us together finally. It felt great to not be scared of our relationship being discovered anymore.
The somber mood never left us all week no matter how hard I tried to suppress and forget the inevitable. I hoped it would somehow disappear. But the day had already arrived that Levi had to leave me.
I was silently helping him dress and pack for his scouting mission. He stayed quiet and focused on his mission ahead, and I tried to do the same. I heard the knocking at the door as the others called out they were preparing the horses.
"Promise me again, that you will be back," I said, fighting back the tears again. I grabbed him from behind and held him close. I felt his body tense up but he turned around and wrapped his strong arms around me.
"I will be back, you know that. Don't worry about me to the best of your ability," he told me. He grabbed onto my hands and kissed me passionately. He made sure I could feel his love pour through his lips as he gave me a kiss goodbye. Somehow, I felt like everything was going to be okay. I wouldn't be able to kiss him goodbye, but because I am part of the scouts, I could at least follow him to the gate on horseback.
The others came back with the horses as Levi and I saddled up. I rode next to him, breaking formation but only temporarily as I wouldn't be going outside the wall with him. No one gave me any trouble for riding so close to him. We moved out and rode for about an hour. I tried to enjoy the scenery of the wide open fields but when I saw the city approaching my stomach dropped. I knew I had to say goodbye for real this time. Even if I can't hug him goodbye again.
I tried to stop it but I couldn't stop my thinking about how I wouldn't be able to hug him, kiss him, touch, or even see him for who knows how long. I looked around at my comrades and had the sinking question that comes into the head of every scout. "How many would come back?"
I shook my head and fought back the tears, as I moved out of formation. The others started passing me as they made it to the southern most gate, connecting us to the outside world. The gate creaked as the gears turned to lift the gate up. I saw it slowly rising as my comrades made it closer to going outside. Levi looked back for a moment at me, something he has never done before when leaving. He gave me a nod and a small smile, telling me he would be back as I watched him and others leave through the gate. I stayed and watched as long as I could as their horses rode off smaller and smaller in the distance. Before they were out of sight completely, the gate was already closed. I let out a few silent tears as I turned back around to go to my now empty home, alone.