Future me problems

Best birthday 45

Once all the girls started to leave I looked to Leah, she looked back at me and gave me a hug and a kiss on the forehead, doing the same for El, before crutching away. Katie also decided that she'd rather go home than come with us, offering to pick Harry up from one of El's friend's houses and drop him off.

"Love" I whisper, still holding her tightly in my arms "I'm sorry love but I have to get dressed. I promise you that once we're home, you can have all the cuddles you want but we really need to get a move on. Katie's going to pick Harry up and drop him home so we need to be home by then" I say as I stand up and sit her back down by my locker.

I quickly get myself dressed before handing some clothes to El since she so kindly crashed my shower.

I don't think that she's particularly happy about this situation and will probably need some time to wrap her head around it, but when she does, I'll be right by her side.

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El's pov

We got home a few minutes ago and when we got in, I went straight to the sofa. I haven't said a word since my little mental breakdown in the bloody locker room, which was probably the most embarrassing thing I've ever done, and Sara's given me space to think about it.

Or I may have scared her off by crashing her shower, screaming at her, slapping her and if that wasn't bad enough, I did it in front of all of her teammates...

"Hey bud how are you" I hear Sara and Katie talking by the door but I can't make out exactly what they're saying. I think it's safe to assume that it's probably something that's relating to the situation.

"Mama see I made mummy picture" Harry informs her, he's honestly the center of my universe and I love him so much.

"That's so cool bud, but mummy's not feeling good so we're going to let her rest, while we have some fun" she's such a good mum to him and I know that she'd be the best mum our kids could ever have, Harry's a great example for that.

Maybe not great...

He's a good example.

At the same time, even though we're already parents, I don't think we're ready for a baby. Harry was already 1 years old when he came to us and could express himself and his needs which a baby cannot...

And what about her career?

She can't just put it on hold when it's just started and I don't want her to do that.

She loves the game and I think that it's one of the reasons she's still alive, not to mention the family she has found within the Arsenal and England squads.

She can't just put that on hold...

"Bud...shhh it's alright, let's see if mummy's feeling better okay" I see her walking towards me as she's comforting a crying Harry "Sorry love but he really wants to show you his drawing" she says as they reach me.

I put my arms out, she passes him over he instantly grabs my shirt and slowly starts to calm down, I'm running my hands through his hair and cuddling him whilst quietly humming a tune.

"Mama said you not good" he says with a sniffle which makes me smile and kiss his forehead "I draw me, mummy and mama" he says as Sara hands him the drawing and sits down next to us. Harry hands me the picture and it's the cutest little thing.

We're all in the form of stick figures and there's a sun like thing above us. He's in the middle, holding my hand to the right and then Sara looks like a giant with what seems to be holding a football.

"It's beautiful baby" I say and kiss the back of his head "Do you want to go with mama and put it on the fridge" I ask, I receive a nod and he takes Sara's hand. She gives me a kiss on the cheek before standing up and they walk to the kitchen.