Not Izuku, Not Anymore

My Mochi

{CW no sexual assault occurs, but Bakugo thinks that it might have so it is mentioned}

Deku was quiet as he sat in his car and watched Ochaco drive away, he could feel himself blushing. He didn't want to hurt her, he wasn't sure if he was capable of it. He needed to stop this, but Ochaco was expecting him to call her; he couldn't just kiss her like that and not call her. Deku was an idiot. Of course a man who had lived, largely in a basement for years, could not make out with a pretty girl without developing feelings. He had wanted to make her remember him, but instead found himself trying to quit thinking about her strawberry flavored tongue, he put a stick of gum in his mouth, frowning as he drove himself home. He went and sat in his living room,, burying his face in his hands as he thought about how cute she was, how soft her skin was, he wanted to protect her from people like himself, but he wanted to destroy her. He needed to keep his eyes on the prize. But why? Why did she need to pay for Kacchan's sins? Could he just let go of this idea of revenge? He didn't remember why he had needed to become so unkind, so cruel, but seeing her, he had remembered what it was like to be that kind, gentle little boy and it was dangerous. He had killed that little boy for a reason, and it was far too late to dig him up now. Deku sighed, burying his face in his hands, he wanted to start drinking, but it wasn't noon yet so he turned on the tv, he turned on a documentary about Stain the Hero Killer before huffing and pouring himself some liquor. Today was fucked anyways.

*********

    Ochaco frowned as she sat on her couch and watched her window, she had been looking at a family of birds in the tree outside her window, but really, she was thinking about him, his tongue, his hands, his voice. She wanted to stop, but she couldn't bring herself to, this was what she got for neglecting her dating life since high school. The first guy who showed her any attention got her heart, even with his filthy past. He was a good kisser, not that she would really know, he was messing with her head a lot, and she wasn't sure what to do about it. She wondered what he thought about her, she wondered if he always tasted like mint or if that was something he had done for her. Her hands were in her pockets when she felt her phone vibrate in her pocket. She frowned when she saw it was Bakugo calling her, then she felt guilty for being disappointed. She answered the phone.

    "Hi." She said softly

    "What the fuck is going on?"

    "What do you mean?" Ochaco's face was hot as she felt a rock in her stomach. She put her hands in her pockets and sighed

    "How is it that Deku has been seen by multiple eyewitnesses sucking your face today, Ochaco?"

    "I-"

    "I have been looking for him all day and you got fucking tea with him? What the fuck?"

    Ochaco's eyes filled with tears, she wasn't sure what was wrong with her, she was confused and whenever she was around him she felt so fuzzy and weird.

    "I'm sorry." She murmured, looking at her toes "I don't know."

    "Do you remember it happening?"

    "I remember it all." her voice was soft, her shoulders slumped, she was confused

    "Why wouldn't you call me?" he sighed, unsure what to do or what to say. He thought there was a good chance she was being mind controlled, or had been drugged, so he was trying to be nice, but he was so frustrated.

    "I-I don't know. I don't.." She sobbed, "I don't know what's going on." she whimpered

    He nodded his head, sighing. "Should I come over?"