Not Izuku, Not Anymore

Izuku

Deku smiled as he watched Ochaco sleep, he ran a hand through her hair, kissing her softly. She slept pretty soundly, so he figured if he slipped out, tracked Katsuki down and killed him, he could probably be back before her nap ended. He pecked her lips gently. He had wanted to prepare more, but he had been studying the chinks in Katuski's armor since he was five.. It hardly seemed necessary. He sighed, she was going to be upset, he would have to make her understand. He would bring back food, pretend that was where he had been, but he knew she would figure out what he had truly done at some point..He huffed, hesitating. No. His goal had been to kill Kacchan for as long as he could remember. Ochaco didn't change that. Her children didn't either. He left out the front door, making his way to Katsuki's home, thinking about names for his children in between images of skinning Katsuki alive. He frowned when he got to Katsuki's door and it was unlocked, was he expecting his arrival? All the lights in his house were off. Deku followed the smell of takeout to Katsuki's living room where there was a box on his table and he was lying face down on his couch. What the hell? 

"Kacchan?" Deku said, his voice sounded less intimidating than he meant for it to.

"Fuck you." Katsuki glared at him "Don't you dare pity me!"

Deku cocked his head to his side, he tried to move his arm to his knives, but they were stuck at his side. He had never seen Kacchan like this. He didn't want to kill him like this, in his living room, in his pajamas. He wanted to kill Kacchan when he was at full capacity, not whatever the fuck this was.

"I like the name Inko.. For a girl. I don't know if you know, but my mother died right after middle school.. So I want to name one of my-one of our kids after her and I-I wanted to ask if you liked that name too. I haven't talked to Ochaco about it yet, I came up with it on the walk over.. Have you thought about names?"

"You broke into my house to-"
Katsuki frowned, shaking his head "No. I haven't thought about names."

"Oh."

Katsuki sighed, unsure how to respond to what Deku had just said to him. "Inko is a nice name. She was a great woman.. Mom told me she died. I thought about contacting you, but.. Mom said no one had heard from or seen you.. You were assumed dead."
Deku laughed softly to himself, looking at his feet with a huff. He wished he had died. He had nearly starved.. Sold things that should have never been for sale to survive. Tasted blood at the age of sixteen, it was sweet. That's what you get, when you try to force a sixteen year old into your damn car. Teeth in your neck.

"Why would you call me? You hated me! I am not stupid!" Deku felt his anger flaring

"I didn't hate you. I never fucking hated you! I was a kid. I'm sorry I hurt you, I really am Deku, I never ever thought it would turn you into this."
"Into what?"

"A monster."

Deku smirked "a monster who sleeps next to the person you love every night."
"Is that what she is to you? Some kind of fucked up sex trophy?"

"Of course not! I love her I just-" Deku sighed why was he defending himself to Kacchan? "I don't need to defend my relationship to you. She's mine now."

Katsuki sighed "You had fucking better. She deserves someone.. better than me." someone like the Deku he remembered Ochaco seemed to think that was who she was living with.

"well rest assured she has found that very thing." Deku smirked, "But she still wants you involved.. For some reason. Are you going to come to the appointments?"
"If I can."
"What would stop you?"
"I'm number one hero, Deku. I can't make any promises."

"Is that why you're so upset?"
"I'm not upset."

"So you just regularly sulk in the dark with takeout food getting cold on your table?"

"I'm worried about cheeks, worried about the kids. Worried I won't get to be in their lives."
"Why wouldn't you get to be in their lives? Mochi wants you there.. So I don't have much choice in the matter. Besides your kid deserves to know you.."

"Than why did you come here to kill me?"
"I didn't. I came here to talk about our babies."

"you're a terrible liar."

"I am not!"
"yes you are. Why the change of heart?"

Deku frowned, hesitating, "I.. Want it to be a fair fight when I kill you." he said it, but he was beginning to wonder if he could kill Kacchan, he was the father of one of the babies.. And if he did Ochaco might never forgive him, he didn't want to make her quit loving him.

"Oh the fight is never going to be fair." Katsuki smirked

Deku looked him up and down with a nod, "I suppose you're right." he replied he had a feeling they had a very different idea as to how the fight would go, only because Katsuki didn't know what he was capable of, he knew exactly what Katsuki was capable of.

"I want you to come to the doctor's appointments."

"I don't care what you want!" Katsuki paused  "But I fully plan to be there when I can be."

"Good." Deku replied, "I'm going to go home to my beautiful future wife. Have fun, here, alone." he turned around to go home, picking up lunch for him and Ochaco.

Katsuki sighed, he actually felt a little better after that exchange. It hadn't been entirely dissimilar from the fights he had had with Deku in middle school. He didn't think Deku would kill Ochaco, or even hurt her.. He had just given him a way to check in on her too.. By asking about the kids. So surely he wasn't worried about him learning he was hurting Ochaco. He believed he loved Ochaco, but that didn't make him any less worried that he would hurt her if she spoke out of turn. He needed to quit acting like this was the Izuku he went to school with.. He wouldn't even let him call him Izuku anymore. It was just hard, today he had seen that little boy again, even if it was brief, and he hoped he would get to see more of it as this Deku person began to trust him. He sighed, sitting back down, and deciding to eat his food. He thought about texting Ochaco, but decided against it. He didn't want to stress her out, and he wasn't entirely sure how he felt about this interaction.

***
Ochaco frowned as she woke up to the sound of Deku coming home with food, he handed Ochaco the food he had ordered for her before sitting down next to her. He ate his food with a sigh

"how long was I asleep?"
"About an hour probably." Deku shrugged "I thought you would probably be hungry when you woke up, you are eating for three now."
Ochaco smiled weakly, "Thank you." she murmured, picking at her meal with a sigh, hoping she could keep it down.

"I told the lady at the stand it was for my pregnant girlfriend and she said that should be good for your stomach." he murmured "Ocha?"

"Yes?"

"I was thinking.. It might not be best to have our kids know one of their dads by word for 'worthless' so.. I was thinking about using my real name again."

"what is that?"
Deku laughed "You don't know it, do you? My name is Izuku Midoriya. Or, I guess it was.. and I-I would like for it to be again."
Ochaco nodded in reply, looking at the ground "Your name is green hero? That's kind of funny."

"My mother miscalculated." he replied with a shrug "how do you feel?"

"I feel fine. I haven't really had symptoms yet." she replied with a shrug, "I do appreciate you buying me something just in case though. That's really nice."
Deku grinned "I'm glad you liked it." he kissed her forehead gently as he kept eating his own food.

"I love you, Izuku." She murmured

Deku grinned, he hadn't heard those words since his mother died. He hoped he got to hear it for the rest of his life. He had spent so much time thinking it would be bad if he was vulnerable with anyone, that it would get him killed, but he didn't want his kids raised by a monster. He wanted to get better, he hoped it wasn't too late. His kids deserved the dad he never had. Kids with him Ochaco and Katsuki as support their kids could really have a chance. They would never be alone like he was. They wouldn't turn out like him. He wouldn't let them.

{this was originally supposed to be a love triangle between Deku Ochaco and Tenya Iida but Iida was too okay with it too quickly and Deku felt too guilty for taking Ochaco from him bc he's so awkward and so I changed Iida to be Katsuki. Idk I love Tenya I don't write him as much as I would like! -Taylor}