Zanokuhle

chapter 2

ZANOKUHLE
Chapter 2

Most human interactions are scary, non of them possess some sort of assurance in them. I don’t know how to describe it but my longest human interaction beside everyone from my home is Tusani.
I took the leap of faith, I want to be in a normal world where I am not seen as a freak in that manner. My phone has been off for about 3 days now and we left Kzn already.
Tusani has been….a gentle man if I should say in that manner and no, we have not had some sex with each other and at times when he touches me. Whether it’s a hug or when he cuddles with me I just wish he could go more intimate with me but that is not the case.
He told me that he will get me my own place to stay and be just like everyone else who moves from home and he will come and visit me too.
We are on our way to the place he said I will be staying in. I am only here with myself and some of his clothes that I am wearing and have been using these past few days.
“Are you ready to see your place?”
“Yes”, I feel…excited too in that manner.
We get out of the car, ascend up the stairs and soon enough we get to the place and its house number 32.
He takes out the keys and he unlocks the door. I walk inside first and he follows behind me. It looks beautiful, I don’t know what to say. It just… captivating. I move from the open plan living room to the kitchen and I glide my hands over the counter and turn to him. It’s a small place than home but he did mention that it only has one bedroom. 
“This kitchen is beautiful”
“It fits for you”, he says.
I smile. Imagining myself soon making meals here. I go towards the stove and analyse it. He comes behind me and he turns it on.
“This is how you use it”, he says.
“The oven?”, it’s a bit different from back home. It looks more complicated than the one that I know.
“I will get the landlord to tell me how it operates”, I nod my head and touch the counter.
“Come, let me show you the rest of the place”, he pulls me through from the kitchen. I turn my head around just to fully analyse the place. It is small but I can stay here. There is no annoying Nomfundo who still has 2 more weeks to go before UKZN takes her. There is no aunt of mine who will ignore me majority of the day and getting to do the heavy cleaning. I hate doing cleaning, removing bloody stains and taking out the rubbish the most. I like cooking, I love it with my whole heart and my aunt allowed me to do that in the kitchen and I didn’t mind it at all.
The passage is very short leading to the bedroom. He opens the door and it is empty, there is a built in wardrobe and with nothing else  in here I don’t know if it will fit well. Maybe why I am saying this it is because I lived in a bigger space back home.
“This will be your room, we will get a bed today”
“You will buy it”, I am not asking him that question. I will not sleep on the floor, cockoroaches will feed on my skin.
“I have a friend who has a spare bed and he is waiting for us.”
“Does he live far?”, will we have to carry the bed?
“No, it’s just 20 minutes from here”, he says and I nod my head.
He comes closer to me and pulls me by my waist and kisses my forehead.
“I will visit you everyday okay?”, he says.
“I don’t want people around me too much”, I say and he chuckles.
“Well I am not people. I am your special friend just like you are my special friend”, friend…did he just say I am his friend?
I look at him and he pulls me with my hand and leads us out of the flat number 32. He locks before we walk down the corridors and I look around. His clothes are a bit loose on me but not entirely. He said he will teach me the online shopping thing. He tried yesterday but I didn’t understand it so he just did it for me and he said it will take some time before I get those clothes. His strides are more gentle paced, slow yet I am the one who rushes with my little feet behind him just so that I could catch up to him, we go down the stairs going to his car and he opens the door for me. I get inside and as soon as the door is closed I feel safe, no one can see me and I am happy about that.
He gets inside the car too before he drives off.
In the past 12 years I have been more indoors than outdoors. I do go outside but all that my mind thinks off it is to get back home.
I take my phone, go through the last chapter I was on and keep myself occupied. The book is getting more interesting. The main character is close to finding the truth about her unsettling life. I cannot wait and it keeps me at the edge of my seat. I cannot go a day without reading, I find the next read as quickly as I can and Tusani taught me how to use Do not disturb just so I can block notifications and calls too. I am happy with that, where has it been for the longest time when I needed to block my aunt’s calls.
“Zano”, the hoarse voice disturbs me from my  reading and I look at him.
“We have arrived”, he says.
“Okay”, I go back to reading my piece.
He is disturbing me and quiet frankly I cannot let this chapter go unread at the moment until my desire of knowing more is fulfilled.
The sound of the door being banged brings me back from the reading and I look up, watch this man going towards the door of this house.
It’s beautiful, the green grass and the kept well lawn brings it’s beauty of this place though it is a bit chilly today.
This man will break the door of his car if he is not careful.
I go back to my reading and the wait is not felt. I finish the chapter and start the next, the desire is still there but not much burining as in the last chapter. Some questions have been answered and I am waiting for other character answers.
The door on my side opens but I ignore it.
“Zanokuhle”, I look up to Tusani.
“Mmmh?”
“Come so you can see the bed you will use”,he says.
“Why? Is it bad?”
“Just come.”, he says.
I am not in the mood to do so but I oblidge. I get out of the car, this time he closes the door well.
“You will break doors one day”, I say and he looks at me and I don’t back down from the gaze he has upon me.
“I will fuck the little attitude you have Zano”, I frown.
“What do you mean?”, I ask.
He takes my hand into his and pulls me towards the house.
Fuck my attitude. How does a person sleep with an emotion or whatever? Action if it is that.
Does this man function okay?
I look at him, he is normal. I mean he is normal like everyone else and he did well in school, is it some saying that I do not understand?
We enter the house and he pulls me in. we walk through and this place looks sad. I don’t like it, the big tv and small stand. Its like a top heavy thing. I don’t know much on buying furniture at times but with my aunt’s home renovation shows, I know that this place looks ugly.
“Your friend’s furniture is ugly”, I say and Tusani looks at me.
I keep quiet looking at him.
“That is not a nice thing to say Nono”, I blink my eyes before I look away from him.
We get into a room and there is a bed against the wall with a man trying to  get it upright.
“Man, this is Zanokuhle”, Tusani says to the man.
Seemingly taller than he is, darker too with his oily head. It’s too shiny for my liking. Did he use some cooking oil to buff it? Who knows. If he wants some products for hair he should ask my aunt for some Cuticura. I use it too but I don’t have it anymore.
“Nono, this is one of my friends Bhungane”, he says.
I keep quiet.
“Nice to meet you Zano”, he says.
“Thank you”, I say.
I don’t know much more to say. I am thinking of the book that I was busy reading and I am disturbed from. Tusani talks with his friend about the bed, the conversation of where I am from comes up and he says that we are together and leaves it at that. His friend looks between him and I before he shook his head and said it is a fairly new bed but he needs to buy another one for the twins.
I have never seen twins live but I know that they exists. I wonder how it is like being a twin.
Tusani asks me if the double bed is okay and I tell him that I wont sleep on the floor and he chuckles with  his friend.
His friend and himself carry the base of the bed out and I just wait there for them to come back and take what is left of the bed.
They come back and take what is left and Tusani tells me to follow after them and I do so. We get outside and they load it on the van. Tusani’s friend says he will follow behind us and that means he will deliver the bed to us.
His friends must be really nice because I know that my aunt would rather die than share anything with anyone.
--------
Things are still missing but I was told that slowly but surely I will have everything that I need. The landlord came to help with the oven and I was happy, more especially now that I will be able to cook.
We went to the mall, got some little clothes for the time I am in here and some food too. I don’t need the tv because I have my phone but I will need a charger and Tusani got one for me and some earphones too. Not those Pakistan ones that die within a matter of minuets after purchasing them.
He got some food for us too and we have just ate, laying in bed together and I am resting on his chest. I like it when he runs his fingers on my back. It sooths me.
“I will have to go in a few minutes”, he says.
I sit up and look at him.
“Okay, bye”, he smiles.
“You are special Zano, do you know that?”
‘You always tell me”
“Yes I do”, he leans in and kisses me on the lips.
He has his eyes closed and I look at him and  soon he breaks it and I quickly close my eyes too. I need to get used to closing my eyes when I kiss him.
“Do you want to accompany me?”
“No”, he chuckles.
“Okay then, I will see you okay?”, I nod my head.
“What do you want me to bring tomorrow?”, he asks.
What do I want him to bring?
“Nothing”
“Okay then, I will see you tomorrow okay?”, I nod my head.
“Okay, bye”, he gets off the bed and I get closer to the edge and watch him wear his shoes before he says goodbye again.
He has been saying goodbye. He finally leaves and I follow after him and lock the door.
I turn around to the house and watch it in silence.
.
It’s the following day, I have bathed and cleaned. I woke up at around 9 am and I wanted something to eat and so I made some breakfast for me. Eggs with some sausages and fried tomato and something for the sweet side, pancakes.
I am happy, I feel good that I am here all alone. That I am eating as much as I want too. I have ever had this much breakfast in one day.
Food at my aunt’s house was scheduled and it was scaled. As much as she let me cook anything but I wouldn’t cook such things in one sitting.
I stuff the bacon in my mouth and take the juice and sip it. It tastes so very nice too. Orange juice. I sit on the floor and chew  carefully on the pancakes. A knock comes from the door and I look at it before I get off the floor and rush to open and Tusani is standing there.
“Hey, did you sleep well?”, I nod my head.
“I brought something for you”, he says.
“Oh”, he walks inside and then I look at him waiting for what he said he brought for me.
“What did you bring for me?”, I am curious now and I also want to know.
“I brought me for you”, I look at him,he is already here. I blink twice before I turn and I go and sit on the floor and take my food.
“Why are you sitting on the floor?”
“I am eating”
“You know your aunt is not here”
“I love sitting here. On the kitchen floor”, he nods his head.
“You know I work and cannot see you a lot right?”
“Okay”, I eat my food and he nods his head.
I carry on eating my food before I look at him as he is looking at me. “What do you normally do that is much normal?”, I ask.
“Go outside and interacting with people”, horror.I don’t want to talk to rude and people who don’t have nice things to say.
“No”, I carry on eating.
“But you have to, that’s the point of getting out. We can maybe start with going to Bhungane’s place and interact with people there. See how clubbing life is like?”
“Drinking and being crazy over music is normal?”, he nods his head.
“Okay”,I say.
“I will talk to Bhungane to reserve a table for us in the VIP section”, he says.
“Who?”
“My friend from yesterday”, I nod my head.
I remember the face vividly but the name doesn’t ring a bell as yet.
“Nono”, I look at him.
His tone is low and almost breathless as he says that, it’s a new word for me and a new term but I know that he means that he is calling me.
“Mmmh?”
“Can I be inside of you?”, he asks.
“You want us to have sex?”, he nods his head and I nod my head.
“Okay”, I get off the floor and leave my plate.
A part of me inside moves as in a way that I feel like my blood is rushing. I want it too, I want to feel that night all over again. The memory comes rushing in my mind and my body squirms in that instant. He stands next to me as I put my meal in the fridge.
I move away from it when I am done and he follows after me. We get into the bedroom and I take off my clothes and I am left in nothing but my birth suit. He takes off his clothes as well and comes towards me and he holds my waist and looks down on me. I hold the gaze upon him, that tug visits me.
“You are beautiful Zano”, he says.
My mind reminds me that I indeed have to respond and say “Thank you.” and I do so. He lowers his head and he kisses my lips and I respond to the kiss quickly shutting my eyes tightly as I remember that I have to close my eyes.
It is sloppy and quiet fast too, he is sucking on my lips and with time he lowers his hand to my nuna and he cups it, drags his finger between my folds and he tries to slip his tongue in my mouth but I push him.
“H-mmmh, I don’t like that”, I frown and he scratches his head.
“Okay baby, I am sorry. I wont do it”, I nod my head and he gets closer to me and carries on where he left off.
Soon he lays me on the bed, gets ontop of me and kisses my nipples and I giggle when he starts sucking on them.
“You like it?”, I nod my head.
He plays with the other one and he then leaves my nipple and goes to my stomach and kisses it.
“I will put it soon okay?”, I nod my head.
He gets off me and goes to his pants and he takes out some condom. He removes the wrap and wears it before he gets on me.
He looks down on my nuna and navigates his shaft inside of me and I wince in pain. I haven’t had sex in 12 years!
It is like I am loosing my virginity all over again.
“Does it hurt?”, he asks.
“A little bit”, I say and he leans down and kisses my lips.
“It will be over okay?”, I nod my head.
He starts moving slowly and I cling onto him, I look at him as I feel the pain slowly fading away with each thrust and replaced with the pleasure. A low moan escapes my lips.
“You like that?”, I nod my head.
The pace increases as I have mentioned that.
-------
He left, right after our normal activity for the day, he left and mentioned that he had somewhere to be but tomorrow he will take me to the mall and watch a movie with him and have lunch. I am in the shower. I am happy that at my big age I am learning some things. I cannot wait to go to the movies with him. He did ensure that I will be okay and I am happy. I just don’t like human interaction with other humans because it makes me feel like I am a freak. I finish taking the shower and hop out of the bathroom, my hair is wet and I need a hairdryer but I do not have one. I used to use Nomfundo’s old one. It was shocking me at times but it helped me when I needed to dry it.
I grab a towel and try to try my hair but it drenched in minutes. I feel like crying at the moment. I don’t like this, I look like a wet cat too.
A knock surfaces from the door and I quickly grab a dress and slip it on before I rush to the door.
“Who is it?!”, I ask before I open the door not waiting for any answer.
It’s this dark man standing on my door way. My memory starts to tickle a bit trying to find out if I know him or not.
“Hey, I am Bhungane.”
“Who?”
“Tusani’s acquaintance”, a new word I can learn.
I remember him, the bed friend.
“Oh”, I keep quiet after.
“I just came to deliver somethings that were in my spareroom. I didn’t see the need to keep them since I am changing the room”, he says and tilts his head to the side looking at me as I look at him, I am not going to look away!
“The twins don’t like it?”, the frown dissipates.
“It’s too grown for two 6 year olds”, they are 6.Very younger than I am.
“I have never seen twins before”, I smile after that.
He looks at me with a little frown before it disappears.
“How old are you?”
“27 you?”
He keeps quiet for a moment and tries to touch my hair but I move back.
“Its getting you wet.”
“I asked a question”, I say.
He looks at me before he says “ 35 years”, I nod my head.
“I don’t have a hair dryer”, I say before I turn away from him and tip toe around the water that has now formed on the floor.
There is silence and soon I hear voices in the places.
I take the wet towel and hang it in the bathroom.
“Zanokuhle!”, I hear this rough voice calling out for me harshly.
I am alarmed and I know that I don’t know that voice and it has not been embedded in my head.
I move out of the bathroom and walk to the living room where there is this man and two other people. They greet, I just nod my head and I am informed that they will get my new bedroom things in the van and I should show them where I want things.
“In the bedroom”, I just mention.
“Do you stay alone?”,This friend of Tusani’s asks.
“What is your name?”
“Bhungane Mthimkhulu”, he says
“I will not remember your surname well. “, I say and he just nods.
“What is your surname Zano?’”, I look at him.
“What will you do with it?”
“I just want to know”, I bite my bottom lip and say. “Ngubo, Zanokuhle Ngubo is my name”, he nods his head.
The men come back with the furniture. They assemble it where I want it to be and I am happy with the setting. Soon they leave and I am left to mop the floor and figure out what to do with my hair.
Already the coldness is creeping in from my wet head as I try to see if the towel is dry enough for me to wipe my hair.
I sit on the floor and wait, watching it dry for a moment before I took my phone and went back to reading. It takes me away from what is infront of me, feeling as cold as I am but I cannot escape what is going on with my hair. I get disturbed as I am still stuck on these words that I have myself indulging in and I get up and go to the door I open it and this man is back. I frown as I am not his friend and he shouldn’t be here.
“I got a hair dryer for you”, my face eases up.
He has a box with him, big enough to fit a child in and I frown.
“Is it a huge hairdryer?”, I ask.
“No. It’s things to help with your hair”, he says.
I look at him without blinking.
Before I knew it, I let him in and he gets in.
He opens the box, I peak inside. Pulls out the hairdryer and another towel and some of the hair creams.
“I use Cuticura for my hair”, I say and he nods.
“This is your hairdryer”
“It seems complicated”, I look at it. It’s not the old scrap that I used to use.
“Let me help you”, he says.
I sit down on the floor and he looks at me before he goes to plug it. He takes a little paper from te hairdryer box and reads it before he comes and sits behind me and he puts it on and runs his fingers on my hair.
“You have a lot of hair”
“I am not an animal”
“I didn’t say you were one”, I keep quiet.
“You are burning me”, I say and he apologises.
He does it a bit gentle this time. This is my first time letting a male person do my hair.
“So tell me, what do you do?”
“I stay indoors and cook,clean and read a book”, I say.
“Why?”
“I don’t want to be outside. People are judgy and I am known as a freak. I am not normal”, I say.
“You know we are all not normal right?”
“I am not smart too, I don’t have a job and school was hard for me so I left it”
He keeps quiet for a moment and sections my hair.
“What is something that you have done and like doing with friends?”
“I don’t have friends. I don’t want them”, I say.
He keeps quiet.
He switches off the hair dryer and I touch my hair. He gets up and he is wet on his pants and top.
“Thank you”, I say.
He smiles.
“You are not a freak Zano. You are normal”
“I am going to be normal and do normal things like meeting people at some party with Tusani”
“Okay, all the best”, I nod my head.
He soon leaves and I close the door behind him. Maybe I need some human interaction like Tusani said. I need to actually interact with people. That wasn’t bad at all.