Zanokuhle

Chapter 43

ZANOKUHLE

Chapter 43

We are flying out again.
It seems like we travel alot lately and it feels a bit exhausting at the moment. I would like to take a long break right now plus I miss the pampering that my siblings were doing on me. I am happy that they are back at their home but I kind of miss them actually.
My aunt? She didn't want to leave Cape town but she had work to get back too and Nkosana assured her that she is safe and she will have nothing to worry about.
She did give me half of the lobola money and it was alot. It made me wonder how much really Nkosana paid for my lobola if I got that much money.
So I saved it, just like my aunt told me. Nomvelo took me to the bank and she opened an account for me to save the money I got on. 
Now I feel like I am sorted.
I am 8 months pregnant now. A few weeks away from giving birth and I am so excited.  I cannot wait for me to give birth because I am tired of being pregnant now. I wish I could transfer my baby to another belly just a few hours and then take it back bit I know I cannot do that.
“Baby,wake up”,Nkosana shakes me.gently and I groan.
I am tired. Really tired and I want to throw myself away.
“Are we there yet?”,I ask
“No, we are at the garage and I want us to go and get something”,He says and I open my eyes and look at this man.
We are on our way to his home stead. His cousin is having a ceremony and it would be my first time attending another person's ceremony at this grown age of should I say. Reconnecting with people after being anti social.
“I want steak and kidney pie”,I say as my stomach starts to grumble.
“Okay, come let's go”,he says and he undoes my belt and I rub my eyes. 
He hops out of the car and he comes to my side and he opens the door and helps me out of his car.
The winter wind hits me and reminds me of how warm the car was inside.  He takes my hand into his and we start walking inside the garage and he takes the little basket and we start walking around.
“What do you want?”
“Pie, snacks.”,I say.
“Okay”,He gets some sweets for me and chips and he gets some for him. We get some water and cold drink and he goes and grabs some biltong before we go and enquire about the pies. I ask for 2 because 1 is not enough. He gets 2 as well and gets an extra one just in case I want more. 
I feel happy at the moment.
We move from the pie station after getting them and then we go to the till and everything gets scanned and he pays for it. I take my water and I drink it while I wait for him. Soon we leave and get back inside the car.
“Do you need the toilet?”,He asks. .
“No, I don't want the baby getting toilet infections”,I say and he chuckles.
“Where did you hear that?”,He asks.
“The doctor said I should be careful of public toilets”
“It happens?”,He asks.
“Yes”,I nod my head there after.
We.get inside the car and gives me the plastic and I open it as he goes around and gets inside the car. I take our the pie and his and I start eating mine after giving him his. 
Therapy has been good, Mrs Vilakazi has been doing sessions with me via facetime or she would use Zoom sometimes if she wanted to demonstrate something and it has been going well. I feel like I have faced my past and thought at times it haunts me worse than it did when I thought it was dreams but I am glad that I am tackling it.
I have a great stay though this time in Johburg. End of the year I am moving there actually.
“This is nice”,I say as I wipe my lips and gun for the second pie.  He nods his head, he is already done with his second pie and is washing it all down.
“Do you want another one?”,He asks.
“I might crave one”,I say.
My cravings aren't that specific. I just smell something that is not there and then I feel like eating something.
He tells me he will be back and hops out to go and buy my other pie.
We still have a long way before we get to his home so I will need another pie.

REFILWE

I was sick, much to my mother's worry that she had to call her brother in because she thought I was dying. I also thought that I was dying but I am not actually. I am just pregnant.
I wish I was atleast 9 months pregnant then I would get back with Bhungane but that is not the case. 
I am 3 months pregnant off some man I once met at the club.
It was just one fateful night and that man is a man I never saw again with my own two eyes but I remember his name and I told him I am pregnant.
He told me to keep it. Much to my annoyance because I don't want to be a mother now. With Bhungane it would've been different.
I don't think those are the only heart wrenching news I have ever heard in my life though.
I just found out that Bhungane is getting married and he is expecting to have a child with that sekgowa that he once said is a friend. I saw the pictures that Mrs Mthimkhulu posted on her feed and some I confirmed from the illiterate herself on her page.
It has been a year since we went our seperate ways and in that year he got her pregnant and also he is getting married? What a low blow. After all the sacrifices I did for him and he does this to me?.
I didn't even want to ask Khanyisile what is happening because I know they will rub it in my face so I just kept my silence and vented to my mother who told me to now forget about Bhungane and focus on my current baby's father. 
I am in Capetown now. Just came yesterday. I was home because I was still sick but now I am feeling a bit better so I am back here. My mother will check on me to see if I am still surviving.
A knock surfaces from my door and I make my way out of my bedroom and I go and open the door and meet this man.
The man whom I last saw months ago and had to suddenly contact because of this pregnancy.
I look at his ring, visible and there. More reason why our night ended that night but it seems that things have other plans.
“Hey”,He says.
“Hi”,I move out of the door and he makes his way inside the apartment.
“Nice place”,He says.
“Thanks”,I let him settle on the couch and I do the same.
“I never expected this to happen but here we are”,I say.
“Sex does lead to alot of things you know”,He says.
“I know. Why do you want us to keep the child. You are married too”,I say stating the obvious. Married men should hide their infidelities not what he is doing.
“I know I am married but this would be my first child. I don't believe in abortion”,Fucked up man if you ask me.
“Okay, so what now?”,I ask.
“We set up an appointment with the gynae then we can take it from there. I have a friend who will be your Gynae the whole journey”,He says.
“Okay”,I sigh and feel frustrated as it is.
“I have to rush. I have patients waiting for me”,he says and takes out his wallet and drops a few notes on the table and stands up.
“This should help you for now but I will take you shopping if things start to not fit you anymore”,He says.
“Okay”,He nods his head and soon he leaves. I am left alone in this apartment and I just want to scream.

ZANOKUHLE

I bobble head back and forth at the time of the music in the car. Nkosana has informed me that we are almost at his home stead and I am nervous honestly. I cannot wait to see how everything unfolds. I really hope his family likes me a little. That would mean something right.
I close my eyes and listen to the tune of the music and I am quiet enjoying it.
“We are here”,He says and I open my eyes and I look ahead and I see alot of little house in the yard and there are many cars in the yard too. Alot of people there. Not that much, probably like 30 if not 40 people. I cannot count. The gate gets opened by security men and there is singing and ululation. The car is soon surrounded and I look at Nkosana.
“Calm down, it's okay”,He says and I nod my head before I breathe out.
He unlocks the door and some old ladies open my door and they pull me singing a song. They soon cover me in a blanket and put a headwrap on my head and one aunt holds me close her body and she is walking with me.
I feel crowded as many people follow us going to one of these mini circle houses and they stand in front of one and there is an old lady seated in front with an old man.  I am nervous as it is.  Soon Nkosana is next to me covered in a blanket with a towel on his head acting like my head wrap. 
“Sibonge!”,The old man says and the singing dies down.
I am scared. This aunt is not letting me go either!
“Sawubona makoti”,The old man looks at me and I look at Nkosana and he nods his head.
“Yebo Mkhulu”,I say and he smiles.
The old woman stands up from her seat and she comes and touches my face with her hands and she smiles.
“She looks like a peach! The baby is treating you well I see. Welcome my child”,She says and everyone ululates.
A big box is brought towards me and she opens it.
It has a blanket and also a set of shoes and headwraps and dresses.
“This is our welcome gift from the Mthimkhulu's,we welcome you my child”,The old lady says and then they start breaking into a song leading into this room. It smells like smoke and roadkill. I sneeze that time and two goats are brought in and I scream a little. I hope it doesn't come towards me but I was wrong because they brought me closer to it and Nkosana too. I held onto him and he whispered that I should calm down. He wouldn't let it hurt me and I trust him.
We were told to kneel on the floor and Nkosana asked for cushion for me and they got me one. I thank them and I sat on it and before I knew it ,I was smoking without my permission in there.