Tempest Wind (Vash x F!Reader)

Stormy Emotions

Vash is tormented by his thoughts and emotions. In the past day, he has come to some realizations that scare him and that his world view might be shifting, all because of you. He feels at odds with himself, with what he believes in, and with what he has held as truth for all this time. It all started with you telling him what had happened in that abandoned village; his memories of it were hazy; he just remembers going to protect the boy, but he ended up slicing him with a knife instead. His conviction was unfaltering then; he didn't regret getting hurt, and all he wanted was for everyone to get out of the situation unharmed, you included. He would have been willing to die for that. He had thought that those were his final moments, his last thought, one of self-sacrifice for the greater good. But you had refused to let that happen; you had been pushed into a corner, and you chose to shoot that man instead. If the whole situation wasn't a scam, you would have killed him, and you would have done it knowingly. At first, Vash wanted to be angry, to scold you like he has done with others before, but since you didn't really kill anyone, he bit his tongue. But what would he have done if the situation were reversed? If your life was on the line, what would he have chosen to do? The thought scared him more than anything he had faced before. To be threatened with your lifeless form unless he does something about it. He realizes he couldn't choose; he would fight, but would it be enough? The thought haunts him. He has always known he can't protect everyone; that's life. The best he can do is help as many as he can. But then again, he has never felt like this towards anyone before, and it changes everything. No matter how much he would like to deny it, your life would always hold more value than others, and he could never be impartial again.

He is glad you are tough, and while he doesn't want to see you hurt, you are likely never going to put him truly in a position where he would have to choose between your life and someone else's. But while the thought brings some relief, it doesn't bring peace. Because the damage has been done, his conviction has been shaken.

You are something new, something he has never come across before, and it has nothing to do with the means by which you met, but it should have been a hint. At first, he followed you mostly out of concern and curiosity. To find out how that anomaly had happened, to find out who you are, and if you are a danger to anyone. But the curiosity and even the concern were quickly replaced by fascination and a strange kinship; he saw himself in you in more ways than one, and the feeling only grew the closer he got to you. You soothed his loneliness; you made him feel seen and understood; you were never scared of him; you were hope and trust personified. Before he even realized it, something awoke in him—feelings so strange and new that they didn't even feel like part of him; he didn't know he could carry something like that with him. Sure, he has loved before—the love for Rem, his brother, Luida and Brad, the people who gave him a home, even the whole of humankind—he loved them all. But this feels different; it's like you speak to a part of his soul others can't reach; you coax out a version of him that doesn't wear a mask, who is authentic and selfish, who wants just one thing in this world—his Iris. He attributes his attempts at seducing you and everything that happened this morning purely to that version of himself. So who is he? What part of him is his true self, and do you feel even remotely the same? Do you feel the mountains move when your eyes meet? Does a flock of birds take flight in your heart when your hands touch? Do you feel his body calling out for yours? And if so, what part of him are they connected to?

He realized you have swept him up completely; like a stormy wind, you carry him to places he hasn't been to before, to versions of himself he hasn't met, to thoughts that haven't crossed his mind. It confuses him, fills his head with worry and conflict. And on top of that, there's his guilt, weighing heavy on his heart, that wants to sing in your presence. He has yet to tell you everything, to admit his fault in the state of the world, and he remembers you being grateful for the Fall, even if it caused you guilt later on. It's all his fault. He has to tell you, but he doesn't know how. The words won't come to him. It's his deepest, darkest secret, and he wants to drag it into the brilliant light emitted by your infectiously burning heart.