Thats Life

Chapter Thirteen

"The summer after my first year in Junior high is when I started spiraling down. I was 12, people at school weren't very nice, especially when I was going to school covered in bruises and blood. I always wondered why dad choose me so often. Why he would sit down with Will and watch a movie then the second I got home found some reason to beat the hell out of me. He was a strong man, I have never and will never blame any of you for not getting between it."

I decided to wait until tomorrow to decide if I needed to get my hand checked out, I'm to frustrated to deal with going anywhere right now. Everyone highly suggested I don't wait it out but I figured the ACE bandage would hold me over. Okay fine, I'm probably not going to the hospital at all. Hospitals cost too much, are filled with sadness, and not to mention that freaky 'too clean' smell. Plus, what kind of story am I going to give them about the hand, and the face? I get to choose between abusive dad, and the fact that I'm a recovering addict, honestly, I'd probably have to tell them both. I'm not really in the mood for more judgment tonight.

Katie and I decided to ignore all the chaos and follow through with our original plan to go hang out in my room, all I wanted right now was to curl up in a ball and fade to black. But, instead I settle for being away from everyone in my room.

Once we step into my room, I turn back to her and ask, "Do you think you could grab my phone from Tyson? Just so we can listen to some music. Ill clean up in here a little bit." I glanced around my room to the books and clothes all over my floor. I guess I should have thought about that before I invited her over.

"No problem" She smiled left the room, closing the door behind her.

The first book I pick up is the one with the carved-out pages, the one I keep my emergency stash in. They wouldn't expect I'd leave it in there again, especially when I leave it in the mess of my room amongst everything else. I open it and see the five pills I have in a Ziplock bag. I swear, my mouth waters, and my heart rate picks up... I deserve it tonight, right? After everything that's happened...

Fuck. Fuck. Fuck, why. Why am I like this. Don't do this Jace, don't do it. You're better than this.

Before I could change my mind, I opened up the bag and grabbed two of the Oxy's then swallowed them without any water. Guilt immediately hits me, but I take the time to convince myself that it's for my hand which really does hurt like a bitch.

The book slams shut as I shove it into the shelf with the others. I ran around the room and threw my clothes back onto the laundry chair and picked up all my notebooks. By the time Katie got back I was sitting on my bed pushing my hair back out of my face.

She was scrolling through my phone as she walked up to me. "Can I choose a song?"

"Yeah of course. First, I wanted to say one more time, I'm so sorry about all of this, I haven't had a solid conversation with my dad for moths. I didn't expect all my family drama to come out tonight, the only night I bring someone home. I know I sound like a broken record, I'm just so shocked at how much happened tonight."

Dismissively, she smiled and continued flipped through my music until she found what she wanted. I knew she didn't want to hear my say sorry anymore but fuck, what are you supposed to say to someone when shit like this happens. Frank Sinatra's voice started playing through the speakers, it was a song I knew very well.

The dumbest smile spread across my face, if there was anyone who could make me feel better it was Frank Sinatra. Katie started singing along to "That's Life" Word for word, the perfect distraction from what I had just done, and hidden from her.