Another month with Josh flies by, It's September now and the year is going by quickly. You know what isn't going by quickly? My sexual frustration, we never get time alone. And when we do? NOTHING. He doesn't make any moves; we have had more than enough heated make out sessions but then he just stops. My hand is getting more action than ever before.
I rub my face and groan before sitting up in bed. If I have one more dream like this, I swear to god I'm going to have to just jump Josh's bones. I allow myself to sit in bed for a few more minutes to calm down before heading into the world. I'm as bad as a teenager, waking up with a boner almost every day. I just can't get the images of Joshes hands grabbing my wrists, and neck out of my head. The way he bites my lip... Fuck. Guess I'm taking a shower this morning. I stand up, slightly excited to get to the bathroom. What? It's the closest thing to any Josh action I can get, while I'm opening my door, my phone rings pulling me out of it.
Ian's name lights up my screen.
"Shit" I whisper before hitting answer. "Ian, hey!"
"I'm outside."
What the hell? I turn and look out the window and see him standing in the driveway.
"Are you okay?" I ask him. I grab some shoes and make my way to the front door.
"I don't know." He answers honestly. "I'm sorry for showing up. I know you have been avoiding me and I'm assuming it's because of that Josh guy and I have no business showing up here, but I just needed someone."
Shaking my head, I walk out of my house and hit the end button. "I'm not avoiding you." I call to him. "I'm sorry, I've been so busy working and I completely forgot to answer your texts. I'm a shit person, I'm so sorry." I finally reach him and waste no time throwing my arms around him and pulling him into a hug.
know what it takes to practically beg for help, and Ian doesn't look good. I wish someone was around to just hold me when I needed it. I didn't mean to ignore his texts the other week, I completely forgot after Josh, and I got into that deep conversation.
"I relapsed." He whispers into my shoulder.
I furrow my brows and hold him tighter. "I'm so sorry. When?"
"The party. I made you go with me because, I knew you would go outside, and I was waiting for it. I didn't mean to use you like that I just can't do this anymore." I feel him sob against me.
I push him back and look into his eyes. "Hey, I know it feels that way, I know it feels impossible, but it isn't. I am so mad I didn't try harder before I ended up almost killing myself, because once you get onto a path away from drugs it gets easier. What happened to the rehab your aunt was sending you to?"
"I just didn't go. I have no motivation and I didn't want her paying for something I knew I wasn't serious about. I don't have anything for me Jace. I have no one, nowhere, no nothing. Nothing to be sober for."
"I got sober for the dad who beat the fuck out of me. I got sober for the family that didn't even know I was on drugs for 7 years. I know how it feels to have nothing. But you have to create something. Because now, now I have me and no matter how hard those cravings hit, no matter how badly I need to feel nothing and escape my brain, I don't let it win because I have me. You just have to get there."
He takes a deep breath in "You still have cravings?"
Nodding, I answer "All the fucking time."
YOU ARE READING
Thats Life
General FictionJace is a drug addicted, suicidal, depressed young adult. His whole life has been nothing but abuse, hatred, and loneliness. After an attempt at ending his life, he's faced with a long challenge over overcoming the addiction, and recreating himself...
