Thats Life

Chapter Twenty-Nine

Finally, Monday comes around, I wake up to Sammy Davis Jr. singing out of my phone speakers. The weekend was too long, I didn't realize how much of a task remembering to eat constantly would be. The whole weekend felt like my brain was on manual. Remembering to breathe, eat, clean, homework, breathe, eat, clean, every task and movement I had to make wouldn't happen unless I really thought about it, and forced it to happen.

The hot water fogs up the bathroom, showering is still a thing that I dread for some reason. Once I'm in there, it's great, I feel amazing, like I have my whole life together. But convincing myself to get in for some reason is one of the worst parts of my life.

Once I was dry and dressed, I ran into the kitchen to find something to eat. Something better than pop tarts or cereal. Will and Tyson take turns getting groceries, Tyson has a work from home job, I don't even know what he does. I guess I haven't really been present enough to find out. Will of course has his new part time job in construction, and full-time school. The only problem is that, no one in this house cooks so the food they buy is always so impractical. Stuff like frozen pizza, TV dinners, boxed noodles, cans of soup, and cereal. The closest thing we have to 'cookable' food is bacon and eggs, which I decide to make before everyone wakes up.

"Good morning, I could get used to waking up to this smell" Tyson yawns and stretches while he walks into the kitchen. "Now I know how Suzie feels every day."

"I figured I'd start pulling my weight around here. Starting with making breakfast before you get up, coffees done too."

He gives me a skeptical look but grabs a mug and fills it up. "You going to school today?"

I nod and make myself a plate. "Yeah, I can't really afford to miss any more days." I see his eyes glance down to the plate in front of me. The smallest hint of surprise appears in his eyes before he shakes it off and acts casual. He sits down at the table across from me and opens his laptop.

Suzie comes in and grabs some food, then sits down next to me. "Tys forcing you to eat today?" She laughs.

I see his head snap up and his eyes widen at her before slightly shaking his head, probably worried she's going to scare me off.

Why does no one think I'm capable of making my own decisions. "No."

I force another bite of eggs and eat a strip of bacon. I still don't have much of an appetite and eating almost nauseates me. But I do it anyway, I'm so tired of them looking at me like I'm broken. Internal battles will stay internal from now on, I just want them to feel like I'm a whole new person, like I don't have bad thoughts anymore.

"Dang Tyson, you made breakfast for everyone today? What's the occasion? Will practically lunges at the pan of bacon before anyone can tell him it isn't for him.

I don't say anything and continue eating before I have a moment to change my mind. Out of the corner of my eye I see Tyson point at me without looking away from his computer.

"You're welcome. I need to be at school a little early today, mind if we leave in the next 20?" I ask Will.

"Oh... yeah, sure" He smiles, but the confusion is clear on his face.

"Thanks."

I leave the kitchen and head to my room; I can hear them whispering my name behind me but I don't care. Today is the day I change, everything I do changes and every motive I have changes. I can be depressed, and hate myself, and not want to live, but starting today, I'm also going to start being an adult. A depressed adult who is for once in their life giving this 'fighting' thing a real chance. But also, my first day of working, and spending who knows how long with Joshua. I wonder if we will become friends, or if he's going to be one of those ass wipe bosses you can't stand.