Uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh it's hard to not post angst when I FEEL SO FUCKING TERRIBLE I'M SORRY. I promise I'll make the smut thing but I'm not in the mood today
Somebody kill me
More tsukasa angst because I relate to him too much so I can project onto him with making it seem like I am!!!!
Like the last one but THIS TIME Tsukasa lives out my fantasy and actually kills himself
References of transkasa because if I can't cut my hair and say goodbye to boobies, he can!
NOT PROOFREAD
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Tsukasa POV:
I hit backspace on the keyboard until there's no more letters.
God! How can I be so stupid to even CONSIDER texting them?! It's not like they care anyway. Theyre all too busy with their own problems. I would text Saki but she's with her girlfriends so she would just be annoyed by me. Well, nothing new. I mean, everyone's annoyed with me anyway. I'm too loud, disgusting, ugly, I eat too much, what isn't wrong with me? I can see why no one likes me...
Whatever, I'll just take a break from my phone.
I walk into the bathroom and immediately regret it. With the mirror, I'm able to pick apart everything wrong with me.
My face is disgustingly feminine.
I'll never be a boy.
My body has too much fat on it.
I'll never be cute.
I have too much acne.
Okay that's enough.
I'm sick of living. I really am. Whats the point anymore?
I mean....
I have all the materials in here to end it....
Why not?
No, no. That'd be insanely selfish of me...
Well....
Everyone already sees me as selfish....
I guess this wouldn't be the worst.
I only care about myself now, so might as well keep it up as long as I live.
I pick up a box cutter and start making slices on my wrist. I wince at the pain but I deserve it. If anything, I deserve to feel more pain. With that in mind, I raise the item high and make a deep stab at my thigh. I scream loudly at the feeling and tears mix with the blood on the floor. As much as I want to stop it, I just need to remind myself, 𝘵𝘩𝘪𝘴 𝘪𝘴 𝘸𝘩𝘢𝘵 𝘺𝘰𝘶 𝘨𝘦𝘵. With my new found motivation, I continue to do this all over my body.
I start to feel light headed.
Thats a good sign.
I make one final jab at my recently porcelain skin and I begin to see black.
I chuckle to myself knowing I'll never wake up again.
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Ugh!!! When is this gonna be me????!!!!! 💔💔💔💔💔💔💔🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺
