Emma's Mate (ON HOLD)

Chapter 6

Emma Smith

I was completely frozen as soon as the words escaped my mouth. I hadn't realized I was about to say those words.

In my mind, I could see my wolf, who had been silently observing until now, howling in pain.

Ashton, I don't think I have ever seen him like this. He collapsed to the floor, clutching his chest and screaming in agony.

I was paralyzed, unsure of what to do. My hands instinctively moved to cover my mouth, and tears welled up in my eyes.

I can sense the mate bond breaking from my side after rejecting him. I won't feel the mate bond again until Ashton claims me as his own. He will be left to suffer alone. What have I done?

I can't believe I have caused Ashton so much pain. I was only trying to protect myself, but instead, I have caused my mate to suffer. When did I become this selfish and cruel person? Can pain truly transform you into someone you are not? It seems that it can. It changed Ashton two years ago.

I rushed to him, unable to bear the agony he was going through. I tried to comfort him by placing his head on my lap and gently stroking his hair. I can't even begin to imagine the amount of suffering he is enduring.

When your mate rejects you, I have heard it can cause both physical and emotional pain, and I hate seeing Ashton go through it.

"I'm sorry, Ash. I truly apologize," I said, tears streaming down my face.

He gazed up at me, tears flowing down his cheeks. "Emy," he slurred, reaching out his hand towards me. I took his hand in mine, intertwining our fingers.

"I'm so sorry," I kept repeating, tears streaming down my own face as I rested my forehead against his.

I still can't believe what I did. I have no explanation for my actions. In a moment of anger, I said words that I will regret for the rest of my life.

I caused pain to Ashton, his wolf, and my own wolf. I can't feel my wolf at all now. She has completely shut me out. It's hard to believe that I couldn't even connect with her on the first day I received her. She will probably resent me for rejecting her mate. And now Ashton will likely resent me for putting him through this ordeal. What sets Emily apart from me? Emily was always blamed by everyone for causing Ashton pain, leading to his transformation into a playboy. Did I do the same thing this time? Did I cause him the same pain?

No, I disagree. As his mate, I have caused him ten times more pain than Emily did. This will be intensified by the mate bond. And it's not just him who is suffering. His wolf is also feeling the effects.

Ashton lost consciousness on my lap because he couldn't bear the pain any longer.

I can't stay here. I can't bear to watch him suffer. I can't stay here and face my parents' disappointment in me. I can't look into the eyes of the alpha, luna, and Abigail, knowing I have caused pain to their son and brother. I don't deserve to be among these people who have shown me nothing but love my whole life. Now, this family will endure suffering because of my actions. They will witness their son and brother's pain and will suffer alongside him. I no longer deserve their love and admiration. I don't belong in a pack that has to witness their future alpha's suffering. I have brought this upon them, and I no longer belong here.

I can't bear to see Ashton wake up and look at me with hatred in his eyes. I need to leave before that happens.

I tried calling out to my wolf, but she didn't answer. She has every right to abandon me. I have brought this upon myself. My recklessness caused her to lose her mate.

Gently, I lowered Ashton's head from my lap and kissed his forehead, whispering an apology to him.

I grabbed a pillow from my bed and gently placed it under his head. Wrapping my blanket around his body, I started packing all of my belongings for the road.

If I could, I would have lifted him onto my bed, but as a 5'7" woman, I don't think I can carry a 6'3" man from the floor to the bed. Personally, I just don't have the strength for it.

I am feeling lost and unsure of where I am headed. Outside of my pack, I don't know anyone. My maternal grandparents live in Florida, but I can't go there because they will contact my mother as soon as I arrive. My circle of friends is small, consisting of only Ashton, Abigail, and an acquaintance named Charlotte from history class. My parents and the older members of my pack have always taken care of me, shielding me from the outside world. However, I know I need to leave. I can't stay here after causing so much pain to everyone. The thought of venturing out on my own terrifies me, but it's something I must do.

I departed after leaving a note for those who may be worried. The final memory I carried with me was of my unconscious mate. I know that this image will stay with me forever and haunt me.
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