Lonely eyes

Chapter 2

I hug my school books and journal close to my chest as I walk the halls of this familiar hell, I mean school. Last year was hard I was pushed around and frequently bullied I find it hard to find joy in school anymore, it's sad cause there was a time when I use to jump with impatient joy to go to school, to learn. Now I wake up with heavy breathes and shaking hands as I get dressed to head to a place I much rather never be.

Don't get me wrong I crave to learn it's not the work or teachers I'm dreading, no it's the students the ones that push me into lockers, the ones that put me in the hospital at the grade of 6 and had me ready to shut the world out last year. With that thought in mind a shiver goes down my spine as I now walk in front my assigned locker opening it and redecorating and organizing as it was last year, my headphones plugged in Ghost by Jake miller begins to play I gain a smile and look up just a bit more then just staring at the floor, I head to my first period.

English.

I've always loved English so it wasn't a bother to me that it happened to be my first period, I arrive finding only a few other people currently inside the class room. I get introduced to a smiley tall women with brown shoulder length hair, assuming she's the teacher as she says "Hi, I'm Mrs. Martin for right now you may choose where you would like to sit."

I nod my head and smile politely back as I head to the back of the class where, if I can, I always sit in the seat farthest back but closest to the window. I settle into my seat as the bell rings and more students fill the room a few familiar faces here and there and I smile to the ones that wave towards me, school friends you know the ones you don't talk or hang with outside of school. The ones that don't know a thing about you.

As I watch the class room fill with students is when I see a very unfamiliar face, must be a new student to the school this year I think to myself as I watch the fairly tall and very fit boy with long black spiked up hair, the type of hair style that if he wanted it'd be medium flippy hair. His eyes catch my stare and I quickly look down to my hands, try to ignore the fact that he, out of all the other empty seats around the room, chose the one beside mine. I glimpse up at him and see his deep Hazel eyes already staring at me, I look away and stare out the window.

Through out the class I figured out the guy's name is Colton, also that Jess and Kasy two of my close friends where also in my class. I was happy to see them they sat in front of me as we giggle and chat about the summer to each other, faking the smiles and laughs making up lies about my great summer.. like I said school friend, no one who really knows who you are.. who I am.. Jess and Kasy know me a lot more then anyone else though.. They just don't know what my step mother can and has done...

But I listen to how their summers were, Kasy had gotten together with this kid who had planned to just be a summer fling but ended up clicking more then they both planned and he happens to be a grade above us.

Jess found her self a girlfriend, after three years of being out of the closet I'm happy she finally was happy. She's a better person then me cause I don't know how she can take all the shit she gets for being one of the very few out lesbians in our school and still be proud and find happiness. I sometimes wonder how bad of a friend I must be to them, I tell them nothing but lies about who I am, they know nothing about the bruises that hide under my clothes but I know almost everything about them. I shrug it off as the teacher calls off as she called it "chat and catch up" time and begins to explain how the year will be in her class. I can feel Colton's eyes on me the whole class but play it off as I don't notice.