Lonely eyes

Chapter 27

Alex P.O.V
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I lay on Gus bed my arm cuddled underneath me as I stare blankly at the wall in front of me. I can't feel anything, my body is numb, my mind is blankly numb, my chest... All numb. For three years I have been numb but then Colton came along and gave me feeling, emotion, and he melted the ice that froze my heat. I never thought the person that gave me all the feeling back would be the person that took it all away.

I never understood what's so easy about leaving me. I mean everyone has left me at least once in my life and if they haven't then they've hurt me but maybe that's just life or maybe it's just my life either way I'm getting really sick of it.

Gus walks into the room taking me from my thoughts, I sit up crossing my legs and stare at my hands that sit limply in the space between my folded legs. A cup is held in front of me, I look up and give Gus a small forced smile as I take the cup of water he holds offering to me. I take a sip then setting it on the nightstand that was placed next to the bed, looking up to Gus who takes a seat next to me on the bed he looks at me with eyes filled with sympathy and it drives me crazy I've had enough sympathy from people to last me a life time I didn't need anymore especially from the person who decided it was the better decision to run away instead of helping out. I roll my eyes as anger begins to pulse through my veins "look I don't need your sympathy, my life has been nothing but sympathy from people ive had enough sympathy to last me a life time. and I most definitely don't need it from you.." Gus doesn't say anything after that and we just sit there in silence.

"I'm sorry." I say breaking the silence, " when I'm mad or hurt I say things I don't mean, I cant control what I say when I'm mad, like once some one pisses me off ima say anything and everything to hurt them and its so bad.." i drift off looking at my hands and once again tears threaten my water line I try to blink them away but its to late one falls down my cheek landing on my hand.

Gus pulls me into a hug holding me as I can no longer hold it together, " hey its ok, everyone has their flaws. I'm exactly the same way when people piss me off, I don't care who you are everything I have ever wanted to say to you will and does come out with no regrets not till I cool off at least. we were raised in a family that had anger issues I mean look at the step monster, the only thing that kept her cool was dad and after he had pass she snapped. You're hurt and upset its ok sis, and everything will be okay I promise, I have you." Gus says as he rubs my back calming my tears. I look up giving him a small smile and say " you know its nice having you back in my life, its nice having my big brother back around to bring me back down when I'm out of it." I half laugh causing Gus to smile back at me. "Come on lets go smoke then make something to eat and have a movie night like old times." i smile nodding my head putting my legs down dangling off the bed, "I'd like that." I say.

After we smoke we put in one of my favorite scary movies 'Mirrors' and cuddle up on the couch eating popcorn. I have to admit it as nice to have a brother sister night again, maybe everything wont be as bad as i thought, maybe this is where it gets better.

At least that's what I had hoped...

***

The night plans got changed half way through our second movie Gus picked out, Rocky, when his friend Luke text him wondering if he  wanted to hang out. Gus looks at me as he grabs the keys off his counter and I turn the tv and dvd player off, "what?" I laugh as he stares at me with wonder in his eyes. "Are you sure you're ok with hanging out? I mean I can still messaged him he'll understand that I just want a night alone with my sis.." I shake my head walking to him "Gus its fine I promise ok?' I say smiling even though I kinda wish we'd just stay in for the night I also know that I need to get out and my mind off everything so why not.

We pull up to a simple grey brick house, it was beautiful even though it was simple. "does he own this?" I ask in awe, he chuckles as he says "Yah Lukes never been the kind of person to slack or depend on people for things. From a young age he's had to do a lot on his own but hey that's his story to tell." I nod and begin to wonder what all of the story is, but I'll probably never know.

I follow Gus up the drive way and to the door even closer to the house its more beautiful. "how old is he?" I ask out of curiosity and Gus smiles "He's 19 about to turn 20 he's one of my younger friends but I mean he's chill so." I nod.

Gus knocks on the door and some one makes their way over opening it. When Luke opens the door I have to stop my jaw from hitting the ground and drooling, he was hot! I mean perfect clean cut brown hair beautiful brown eyes with gold trimming, his jaw line so fine it could cut glass a tattoo of a cursive capital B behind his ear. Not only that but his body was perfectly fit and toned. I come back to reality when Gus says " this is my sister Alex." Luke smiles at me and I have to lock my knees to stop from quivering, his teeth are perfect and white and oh my god so hot, he stares at me with those gorgeous eyes and I forget what I'm suppose to do. He extends his hand to me and I take it, "Hey nice to me you, I'm Luke." he says in his perfect raspy voice that makes goose bumps cover my skin, my cheeks turn red and I'm thankful for the night lack of light so that neither of them can see me blushing. I take his hand giving back the same genuine smile as I say "H-hi"

I mentally slap my self for stuttering not only am I standing front of this beautiful perfect guy in the clothes Gus went to get from Colton's house while I was in the shower that are harry potter sweat pants and purple loose short sleeve "I love pink" shirt with my hair pulled up into a effortless messy bun and no make up I am now stuttering yah great first impression Alex.

Luke leads us into his house and into the living room, the house on the inside is the same simple small town house design. A big grey couch lining the main wall with a flat screen in front of it, a love seat on the side of the room against the other wall and a simple recliner in the corner and bean bags pile up in a basket beside the love seat, I'm just gonna guess that he's not alone all the time.

I sit on the love seat as Gus takes a seat beside Luke, "You live here by yourself?" I ask taking off my grey ugg boots feeling like a basic white girl as I tuck my legs under me. "yep" Luke says "I like being by myself most of the time and between my job and school I don't really have time to met people or have parties I only ever really hang out with your brother here," he says nudging Gus in a playful brotherly way then stands up giving me another one of those perfect smiles then disappears down the hall. Gus relaxs back against the couch crossing his legs at his ankles resting his arm along the back of the couch, "You like him don't you?" I blush as I say "shut up he's hot" Luke pops out back from the hall way smiling ear to ear " why thank you beautiful." Gus laughs as my face turns bright red causing me to cover my face with both my hands and laying my head down on the arm rest.

Luke chuckles and that to sends gooses bumps across my skin, he's so sexy, "its okay sweet heart you're hot too" I look up my face heating up more then I thought was possible. Gus slaps Luke's arm saying "hey that's my sister bro" causing me to giggles as Luke laughs and look at me "you smoke?" he asks I turn and look at Gus confused he chuckles telling Luke "she just began" Luke nods looking at me "hmm" he hums in his throat grabbing a mason jar from the box he had came back with from the hall way, filled to the top with green as green can be weed, "a newbe huh?" and again my cheeks heat up as I say "yah" then glare at Gus when Luke looks away to grab something else and mouth 'I hate you' he just smiles making me laugh to myself.

God I missed my brother, he loves embarrassing me but I knew I could count on him to take my mind off everything.